“We live in the middle of Cahersiveen in Kerry, my dad Tim was in the local Fire Brigade for many years and also worked as a Porter in the local bank. Dad was always doing something for somebody. Its only since he died that we have our neighbours telling us all the jobs he used to help them out with. Helping people quietly in the background was very Dad, you would never know that’s what he was doing though, and he would never look for thanks. I think this came from coming from such a big family. We would often wonder where he was and find out he was at someone’s house helping them with a painting job or something else, he really enjoyed that.
“Everyone says they have the best Dad in the world, but mine really honestly was.
“My dad was always as fit as a fiddle, during his life he actually ran a few marathons, and we spent every weekend during covid going on long walks. He was only 68, he ate well, didn’t smoke and hardly drank any alcohol. He was a very healthy man.
“But then on the 1st of February 2022, we noticed his skin had gone jaundiced. He had no other symptoms in the world besides this. Our local GP sent him to A&E. He was subsequently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.
“It felt like our whole world had come crashing down, but we just put our heads down and focused on getting through treatment. One step in front of the other.
“Dad spent about six weeks in hospital after this. During this time, he went to Cork to have a biliary stent put into his bile duct to stop the blockage which was causing the jaundice.
“In May, Dad started his chemotherapy. My Mom would take him up and down each week to the hospital. He didn’t really have any bad reaction to chemo, he never had to spend a day in bed after treatment or anything. He did experience some nausea but the nurses in hospital were able to prescribe something to help with that.
“From May until December, Dad was doing relatively well. He had an odd stay in hospital, if his temperature ever spiked due to an infection, but he was never in for too long.
“Then in December, things took a bit of a turn, and he ended up in palliative care in hospital in Kerry. It was an awful Christmas, but I suppose it prepared our family for what was ahead of us.
“His condition seemed to improve a little however, and he was able to come out of hospital on New Year’s Eve, but he never managed to go back and finish his chemo treatment. In February, we were delighted to be able to go away for a night together as a family.
“By April, Dad’s health deteriorated really quickly. It all happened so fast. I think as he had been doing so well for so long, we all buried our heads in the sand.
“At this point he had his oncology team in UHK, and the local palliative care team would come to our home to help with any symptoms or side effects that he would have. Then suddenly, the palliative care team were discussing Irish Cancer Society Night Nurses. That whole time just feels like a complete blur.
“As a family, we thought a little about where exactly we wanted dad to pass away, but we never had the actual conversation. We were probably all in denial about it a bit.
“Dad always loved being at home, so we decided if it had to happen, we would prefer it to be there. Dad was so close to his family and because he was able to be at home for his last few days, we were able to have them all there. He was surrounded by people who loved him so much.
“We had four Night Nurses come to care for Dad during his last days. I feel there aren’t any words to describe what the Night Nurses gave our family. You know what these nurses do, but until you come into contact with them, and need their support for your loved one, you don’t understand just how incredible they are.
“When the Night Nurses arrived, it felt like such a relief. We just knew that Dad was going to be totally taken care of, there was no need to worry as we knew he was in the best hands.
“The nurses would keep us so well informed, telling us any medication they were using and explaining how everything worked. We trusted them to do what was right by Dad. It also meant we could put 100% of our focus into Dad, we never had to leave his side.
"“The Night Nurses honestly treat you like their own family. They give you hugs, hold your hand and encourage you to get rest."
“The Night Nurses honestly treat you like their own family. They give you hugs, hold your hand and encourage you to get rest. That rest ended up being really important, it meant we were able to keep going for the three days of the funeral that followed. We were able to give Dad a good send-off.
“The Night Nurses thought of things that we didn’t think of or weren’t in the position to think of. The nurse made sure that Mom, myself and my brother Seán all had our own time with dad to say goodbye. She also ensured all his siblings had their own time with him also. I think this could have been a big regret if we didn’t do this.
“The Night Nurses listened to us and respected how we wanted things to go. Dad had a strong faith, so when he passed away, the Night Nurse had set up candles around the room. They also opened the window to let his spirit out after he died. This was really comforting as we know it would have been important to Dad.
“Dad was one of ten children, with over twenty nieces and nephews. We had set up his hospital bed in our sitting room. There were about thirty people in the house when he passed, which sounds overwhelming, but it was honestly so peaceful. That is all down to the atmosphere that the Night Nurses created. They gave us such comfort. We were all heartbroken, but in a strange way, the house had a lovely atmosphere.
“Dad passed away so quietly. It was all so calm and peaceful. In life, Dad was very unassuming, you wouldn’t even know he was in the house sometimes. So, it was really important to us that his passing reflected how he lived his life every day. It felt like he just went to sleep.
Dad passed away peacefully just before midnight on Saturday 15th April 2023.
“Dad loved Christmas; I really associate that time of year with him. Each year, our house was the most lit up house in town, totally done up to the nines, you could probably land a plane on it. Every Christmas Dad would put in so much work decorating the house, afterwards he would label all his decorations and store them away carefully.
“The Christmas when Dad was sick, he didn’t decorate the house, he probably would have tried if we let him! I don’t think we have decided yet what we will do this coming Christmas.
“This Christmas time, my message to others would be that you never know when you might need the Night Nursing service. We never knew what was around the corner. We live in a small town in Kerry, an hour from the hospital, so we felt so lucky to be able to have Dad at home, surrounded by his family.
“The reassurance that a Night Nurse caring for your loved one gives cannot be described, it’s simply an invaluable service. One you never know when you might need.”
