Sue Keegan - My Cancer Counselling Support Story

Mum-of-two Sue Keegan shares her story of how she was able to find help and support through the Irish Cancer Society following her rollercoaster experience with cancer

My name is Sue and I am 51 years old. I live in Dublin with my husband and two teenage children. I would describe myself as fun-loving but my kids would say I am “an embarrassing Mom”. We have a very happy home even after the horrible few years we have been through.

My symptoms started in May 2016 and I was treated for eczema until, in February 2018, I was told I had cutaneous T-cell lymphoma (Mycosis Fungoides). In September 2018, my condition worsened and I was diagnosed with a rare cancer called Sezary Syndrome. The outlook was bleak and a stem-cell transplant was my only hope. News came in March 2019 that an anonymous donor had been found and I had my transplant on 7 June 2019. Last month (October 2020) I was finally in remission…the word we all long to hear!

It is very strange to put my cancer journey into one paragraph – it sounds so quick and painless but it was not. It was the most difficult time in my life and my life had already been a rollercoaster.

All through my hospital visits, I was seen as the ‘patient patient’. I did everything I was told and got through all my treatments with a smile. It was months before I told my husband I had cancer and a year before I could tell my children. Unfortunately, during my cancer years, my husband underwent two leg amputations so our family was hit even harder. I thought to myself ‘I can do this alone’. Cancer patients have to face their own inner demons. We may have all the family support in the world but, when your head hits that pillow at night, and your guard is down, you do cry yourself to sleep. I kept a brave face for my children, as most parents do. I got them help and counselling, never realising that I needed it myself.

However, it was only on 16 August 2020, a year after my stem-cell transplant, that everything came crashing down and so did I!

Most of us are lucky in having someone in our family to go to but I have learnt that talking to a neutral party, means getting the professional help you did not even know you needed. After my breakdown, a nurse told me that there was a support facility through the Irish Cancer Society. I soon started my free six-week counselling sessions. Because of Covid-19 the sessions were over the phone. I could talk freely, openly and without pity or judgement.

We don’t just talk about cancer - we talk about anything and everything. It is like having a chat with a friend whilst learning something new about yourself. My counsellor brings up topics that make me stop to think, finding my own words, my own voice. She boosts my spirits and builds up my confidence. Cancer just takes over and you become lost in it – another victim falling to the Big C. You are so focused on your treatment path and making your body “better” that you often neglect your mind, trying to fool it into a false sense of wellness. The Support Line helped me remove that blinker.

It is okay to talk! It is okay to be vulnerable, to let your guard down.

Because of the counselling service, I found myself again.