In 2021, Pauline Russell from Lusk, Co Dublin went for a routine eye exam after having difficulties when looking at her work computer. At the eye exam, she was told that they had found something in the back of her eye, which required further investigation. Pauline was sent to a specialist and was then referred to the Royal Victoria Eye and Ear Hospital in Dublin. “It was there that they told me it was just like a little freckle, it was nothing to worry about and if I didn’t hear from them, everything was fine,” Pauline recalls. The following year, her vision suddenly deteriorated in that eye, and she returned to the Royal Victoria emergency department, who made an appointment for her to see a consultant. “When I saw the consultant, he said that I had a tumour and it was cancerous,” the mother of two says. 

Pauline, who works in healthcare, was diagnosed with ocular melanoma, a rare type of cancer with around 70 in Ireland diagnosed with eye cancer each year. Hearing the diagnosis was, she says, “devastating. I was on my own because of Covid measures at the time, and I wasn’t allowed to have anyone with me. It just knocked the wind out of me because I just didn’t see that coming. I thought I’d get some laser treatment or something like that, and I’d have my vision back and I’d be fine. So when I heard, I thought how am I going to tell my children and my husband and my family? It was really hard.” 

The tumour in her eye was located very close to the optic nerve. This meant that if she received brachytherapy, where radioactive seeds are attached to a plaque which is stitched onto the eye, she would likely lose the vision in that eye. Instead, she had to travel to the UK for specialised treatment, proton beam therapy, a radiation treatment which would preserve the vision in her eye for longer. Pauline went over and back three times to a hospital in Liverpool.  “They put little metal markers around the tumour on the back of the eye, and that creates the target for the radiotherapy, so there was a bit of recovery after that,” Pauline explains. “The second trip was eight weeks later, and that was preparation for radiotherapy. It’s called a simulation appointment, where I was measured up for a mesh mask that’s moulded to your face, and a doctor did up my treatment plan. Then I was back, two weeks after that, going into the hospital every day for a week to have the radiotherapy done.” 

For Pauline, telling her two children was one of the most difficult parts of her cancer diagnosis. “I didn't tell them initially and I kept it to myself for a while. I actually didn't tell anybody outside of my immediate family until I was actually having the treatment. I just didn't want to talk about it. I just wanted to pretend, if nobody knew, nobody could ask me about it,” she says. Having to travel for treatment was also gruelling, as well as being expensive; although her treatment and accommodation was covered, she still had to pay for meals and flights. “You’re getting life-saving treatment but the cost is an added stress and worry when you’re through all that, that you’d prefer not to have."

Her treatment is now completed but she has appointments every six months in Ireland to monitor her eye, because of the high risk of this cancer spreading. She has on-going side effects including severe dry eye and eye ache, as well as a droopy eyelid, for which she will soon be having a procedure. “For me, when you meet someone and you’re talking to them, you look in their eyes. For me, it was like a constant reminder of cancer and every time I looked in the mirror, I just felt like I didn’t look like me anymore,” she says. “I found that very difficult. It wasn’t something that was scarred, that I could hide under a jumper. I can’t hide it and everyone can see it, so for me, it was damaging to my confidence. I’m delighted that the Royal Victoria that are going to fix that for me.” 
 

Pauline is also slowly losing the sight in her affected eye. “That’s going to go over the next few years or so,” she says. “So it’s just slowly making changes. At the moment, I struggle going up and down stairs because my perception of depth is different. I’m making preparations like changing my car for one that has parking sensors to help me as I move into a new phase of having less vision in the eye.”

Throughout her experience, she drew on support from the Balbriggan Cancer Support Group, which she found via the Irish Cancer Society website. “I linked in with them, and I had reflexology sessions and did a flower arranging course in between my treatments. You get to chat to people and that helps and it gets you out of your head a little bit because I was off work as well, so it got me out of the house. 

Pauline hopes that her story will help raise awareness of eye cancer. “I hadn’t had an eye test since I was a child, and that you could get cancer in your eye, which a simple eye test could detect, never occurred to me,” she says. “Go and get your eyes checked, and I also think people need to be more aware that sometimes cancer is silent.” 

When it comes to supporting Daffodil Day, Pauline says, " The Irish Cancer Society offer valuable service and support they provide for people affected by Cancer. From counselling services to information about different cancers, treatments and practicalities around working and finance while living with cancer. They also drive forward the research into cancer. None of this would be possible without donations from the public."