Coping with a cancer diagnosis

It’s normal to feel upset when you are told that you have cancer. You are likely to experience a range of emotions throughout your diagnosis, treatment and recovery. These emotions or feelings are to be expected.

Reactions often differ from person to person and there is no right or wrong way to feel. You may feel:

• Shock and disbelief
• Fear and uncertainty
• Loss of control
• Sorrow and sadness
• Denial
• Anger
• Resentment
• Blame and guilt
• Withdrawal and isolation

Sometimes a cancer diagnosis can bring great distress and can cause anxiety and depression. Read more about anxiety and depression. 

Feeling very up and down, as if you are on a roller-coaster ride, does not mean you are not coping. Understanding your feelings and emotions can help you learn to cope better. You may also feel more in control of your illness. It can take time to come to terms with your emotions, but most people learn to cope. 

Please see our Understanding The emotional effects of cancer booklet for more information on the feelings. It may feel hard to believe, but a cancer journey can bring positive feelings too. You may experience great love, affection, closeness or gratitude. Experiencing cancer can even bring about personal growth and knowledge.

How do I cope with negative feelings?

Your emotions and wellbeing are just as important as your physical health. Remember, there is no right or wrong way to cope. Give yourself time to adapt and be patient. Try not to expect too much too soon and try to have realistic expectations.

There are many ways to help you cope with your emotions and anxieties. This can include a combination of talking, getting helpful information, trying relaxation techniques and doing other things that make you feel good.

There are support groups and cancer support services around the country that offer a range of services such as information, counselling, group therapy and complementary therapies.

Talking is one of the best cures when you are anxious, but it can be hard to do. You may feel awkward or embarrassed discussing how you really feel. Talking to a good listener can help, such as your partner, a close friend or relative.

For some, religion and spiritual beliefs – even peaceful meditation – can bring a lot of comfort.

Talking therapy

Talking openly about your feelings and emotions can be a huge help. There are many types of talking therapy available, such as psychotherapy and counselling. These can really help if you have anxiety and depression. It’s important to stick with the talking therapy for a least a few weeks. If you feel that it isn’t helping, ask your therapist or doctor about trying something else.

The road to healing and recovery is a personal one and you will learn many new things about yourself along the way. With the help of family, friends and the healthcare team, you can achieve a sense of physical and mental wellbeing over time.