Feeling blue...
Hey there all
I finished my treatment at Easter. Diagnosed Jan 2011, on tamoxifen for 3 months to shrink large tumour, followed by chemo for six months, then two lumpectomies and eventual mastectomy (jan 2012) and then radiotherapy. All done now, on tamoxifen again for five years and awaiting reconstruction. It's 8 months now since the mastectomy and I feel like I'm coping with it less than I was when it was done. I feel really out of sorts, can't bear to look at myself and have taken to even sleeping in my bra as I hate waking up in the morning with no boob. Is this normal?? I am keeping active, swimming, walking, am back to work, taking care of the kids etc and on the outside I seem fine - and some days I am grand, not down at all time. I am generally a very positive person, during my treatment everyone was impressed with how positive I was and it really helped me get through it all. But now I just feel kinda lost...and I don't feel able to talk to family or friends about it, which is why I'm on here I guess. Maybe I need to get some counselling, I don't know...anyway, just fancied a moan/rant and find this place always helps.
Comments
Hi FunkyChick
That's great you're due to get reconstruction, hopefully I will hear something soon. I was told it would probably be next year though, am in Cork. Going to ring the plastic surgeon's secretary this week to see if I can get an update, when I first met him he said the waiting lists were long enough but to keep making a fuss and it'd get done! Please keep us posted on how it goes for you, fingers and toes crossed.
Re the swimming, I'm not that brave, I lock myself in the loo to get changed. Mainly doing it as I've lymphodoema in my arm when lymph nodes removed and it seems to help. X
Hi K,
I feel the same. Diag Jan2011 & finished treatment Feb2012, now on Tamox. Having Diep re-con end Sept & can't wait. I cannot look at myself in the mirror & hate waking up to find my boob gone. You are great to be swimming, I used to swim 4 mornings a week before work before all of this. I went back once since & even though the swimsuit & swimming prostheses is great I couldn't do the shower & changing room. Anyway took some counselling & it has helped but I don't know what I'd do if I wasn't having re-con soon & cannot even contemplate what I'll do if it fails!!! The physical loss doesn't seem to bother some people at all but it really does bother me I am so glad I'm not the only one that feels this way. Good to hear from you. A