Feeling overwhelmed post cancer treatment

Oh shinners I'm sorry you're feeling crap. I'm finished herceptin in three weeks and I'm wondering how I will cope. I'm E- so I'm not on tamoxifen but I do have joint pain which I think is from the menopause. Look I don't know if we will ever feel the same but I do think it takes years. Ring your breast cancer nurse as they always say to me they are there all the time if we need to talk to them.

I understand what you mean about people. Sure since my hair came back they think I'm fine. It annoys me when people say oh you must be delighted its all over. Will it ever be all over? I'm going in to the hospital every three weeks since 10th sept 2012 and then they say 'oh it must be great you're all finished' aaarrrggghhh I get mad. People on this forum will understand exactly how you are feeling. Look after yourself and give yourself little treats and try to enjoy life , but we will all have our days when we feel down, I do.

Hi Sinead

There are sure to be a load of members that can sympathise with you - I know I wasn't in such hectic form myself back in Jan/Feb; I had gone back to work in the middle of Herceptin treatment but was just so exhausted & anxious that I took time out again.

I know there was a topic on this that you might find helpful and or reassuring. I haven't mastered the art of linking threads through my phone so you just might have to do a bit of trawling.

I guess for me it's getting used to not being the same person as I was before being diagnosed & getting past that whole thing about people not having a clue and think we are or that we should be back to the way we were. Unfortunately people would have to go through something similar to understand where we are at.

Just don't be so hard on yourself, try and take it easy when you can and remember to be good to yourself.

Take care x

Hi Sinead

I wonder if you rushed back to work after you finished all the treatment?
5 years ago,when i finished herceptin, i started back to work only 10 hours a week, and gradually after 6 months got back full time.

Maybe the people around you think you are fixed because you give that impression ? Im not always telling my family and friends how i am, because they are also going thru a hard time with worrying about me.....sometimes they worry more than me!! So i off-load to my nurse about my worries and concerns....it can be easier to talk to someone not connected to me.

Someone mentioned that you could talk to your nurse- dont keep it to yourself.
Kick up the butt...no ways! You have been thru a tough treatment,give yourself a break Misey

[color=#8000FF:3gka808d]Well done Sinead for getting back to work, a huge goal for so many people. I haven't a job to go back to as I was a self employed childminder and now with everything including peripheral neuropathy, lymphodema in my arm and the awful tiredness I just could not do that. So I have to think of a new job to do that will fit in my 'bits and bobs'.

I can empathise with the feeling of its over but not quiet! I find I have to explain to people why I'm not jumping up and down with happiness. My first rounds of surgery, chemo and radiotherapy are indeed over. But I have the side effects still to live with every day. I have as I said earlier peripheral neuropahty, lymphodema to name but 2 side effects. They are not getting 'better', if anything the hands are worse than ever, dropping things left right and centre. I'm trying so hard to accept the new me as I am but its taking time. Other people seem to accept me quicker, they are just so glad I'm finished the 'big' stuff. But I think I'm coming to realise 'cancer' will never go away, in the sense that my side effects are a reminder I have changed. I'm on tamoxifen and I have a lot of days where I feel crippled with pain. The medical people have said its not the tamoxifen but its something. These bad days are so real. And yet I have days where I glimpse some normality coming back to my life. The hard bit is not knowing when the bad days will strike.

As for giving yourself a kick up the butt don't you dare! You're doing great to be going back to work, I'm sure it brings it's own issues when you've been off so long having treatment for cancer. Go easy on yourself too. Don't expect miracles. You are still on tamoxifen, which in my opinion, is a very hard drug to be on. I find it horrible to be honest. It alters so much. I too find the tiredness awful. I'm just a year since I found my lump and I'm finished radiotherapy in May and on Tamoxifen. The tiredness comes on so suddenly sometimes and can linger for the day. I still fall asleep at the drop of a hat and I fall into a real deep sleep.

Right now I do worry about work. What job I can do and when will I be able to do it. I know I have to find something I enjoy doing as I need to work for financial and self fulfilment. But at the same time I know it will be hard to explain to potential employers about my dodgy left arm etc.

I agree with keeping talking about it. Whether its here, to a nurse, friend etc.etc. But just reading your post I feel admiration for you to have gone through what you did and feel strong enough to return to work, to try it.

I have no straight advice for you, but reading your post I was thinking 'I hope I'll be writing a post about going to work someday'. [/color:3gka808d]

Sinead, I can totally relate to your post. I have finished all my treatment (had my reconstruction earlier this year) and most of my days are 'good' ones but I do struggle sometimes with the flushes, the joint aches, the insomnia and the 'aren't you glad it's all over' remarks. I am glad, but things have changed. I lost my auntie the other week to cancer, she was only diagnosed a year ago, and it really hit me hard as I do worry about mine coming back but I never voice those fears out loud - because I don't feel that people understand how I feel. I was considered 'very strong' during all my treatment, I worked throughout, stuck my wig on and got on with it but it's hard to be strong all the time. I haven't been on this site for ages but was pleased to read your post because we're all in the same boat. Take care and mind yourself. Xx

Oh kazoo I feel very same. It's a strange world we live in, buried a friend last week only 48 . Was told in march she only had a few months to live. Very sad

Hi Sinead
I haven't been on this in a while. I finished treatment in January and returned to work full time 2 weeks after radiotherapy, like you. I feel exactly the same. My life has really changed since everything. I still have issues with fatigue, pain in joints, weight. I often get depressed and feel guilty that I feel this way when I am lucky that have got through it. I am now waiting on meeting a genetic counsellor this week about the brca test so I need to gear myself up for that now.
It will take time for us to move on. We lost over a year to this disease.
Keep well
Ann

Hi Sinead & all the gang!!

haven't been on the site in ages but can totally relate to all you have said. Yes it's never ending & all the family and friends think how wonderful it is that it's all over with, I mean what do you say?? I don't voice my feelings to them. Last year I went to counselling & it really helped but I think I need further counselling now. Don't be hard on yourself, what you are feeling is totally normal, look at what you've been through, life has totally changed, it will never go back to what it was but we must struggle to find our "new normal". Unfortunately family & friends (who I so appreciate) just don't realise our situation. I found my BC nurse excellent on this one, from my experience I think they expect a call from us about a year post treatment with these issues so I would suggest you ring her & talk.

Take care, we are all in this together & always here to help if I can.