Hating my wig

Haha my husband Jim shaved my head in our kitchen and we had a laugh. No you're not being paranoid I hate my wig and have worn it only when going out for a meal or a drink socially all the rest of the time I wear my bandanas which I love. It's not the wig that's the problem it's me because no matter what it's not your own hair and I miss washing it, blow drying it, ghding it, getting it coloured etc., and I miss all that terribly. Getting ready and sticking a wig on my head just doesn't cut with me. I'm glad to have it and lots of people have thought it was my own hair so I know it looks real but to me it's a wig and I can feel it in my head and I know it's not my hair. I think it's a common thing to hate it, so don't worry. I'm finished chemo New Year's Eve and I can't wait to get my hair back although it'll probably be April or may before I have enough to go public with. You do what you want wear the bandanas as long as you're happy

Not mad in the slightest. I did not actually hate my wig as the colour and style was just lovely and if the truth be known, looked better and way more perfect than my own BUT it itched me like mad. I lost my hair during the month of April so was bald between then and say Nov so I think it was the heat and chemopause of the summer that made it itch. I wore it for occasions - out to dinner or meeting friends for lunch but 95% of the time I wore a brown coloured bandana which was quite close in colour to my own missing mop!

Do and wear what is comfortable, it will be back before you know it.

Lindylu

Hi Amaryllis,

I know exactly how you feel. My wig was actually very nice too, but I only ever wore it to go out of the house. The rest of the time I wore scarves or hats. It always felt great to take the wig off though I was grateful to have it. My treatment was mostly in Winter too which makes it easier to wear a hat in the street.

When I did wear my wig I felt a complete phony accepting the tons of complements I got from people on my new shorter, blonder hair-do

Do whatever is most comfortable for you. When you are out and about it is easier for sure as no one gives you a second look and you get to choose who you tell and when you tell them about what's happening to you. If it gives you that comfort at least it is worth wearing - sometimes!

Hugs

Kathleen

It's because it's so different, and you know it's not real. At the start I had to resist the urge to ask strangers "can you tell I am wearing a wig?, you can, can't you!?" I mostly wore my little hats around the house and just the wig out in public. I kinda wish I had bought a little fringe thing to wear under the hat to give the illusion of hair.

None of this is going to be easy or nice though, it's more a matter of just getting used to a bad situation, but realising it will pass!

Hi Amaryllis,
I'm pretty much the same as the other girls. My hair consumed so much of my time before cancer struck. Couldn't have a night out without heading to the hairdressers beforehand. When I was told that my chemo would cause hair loss I was devastated and was on a mission to find a really nice wig which with the help of my lovely hairdresser I got. I thought I'd wear it every single day - how wrong I was. It simply drove me crazy, even touching it felt wrong when I wore it so to my total surprise since last July I'd say I have wore it three times. I wear all sorts of hats. Have a great collection at this stage !! I never ever imagined I'd go to the pub in a hat but I do and I say feck it. When you're dealing with a cancer diagnosis and treatment you think about things so differently and it's more important being comfortable and happy.
Shirls

Hi ania - someone here advised me to keep some of my hair to make a fringe for one of my hats but never bothered - think it would suit you its really dark and your blonde

I just wear the wig out if I know I am going to be meeting other people school runs and stuff just wear hats.

It is weird when someone compliments you I always have to tell them as I feel like a phony otherwise.

Mine doesnt itch or anything like that but getting a bit bored iwth the same old style and always looking perfect - but then again peole say I have never looked as well - my other hair used to be a mess!!

Hi Ania
I think we all hate our wigs really cos none of us ever wanted one. It took me a good while to get used to mine. The best thing I have found about it is how I can be anonymous, so nobody needs to know anything about me. The one day I went out with just a scarf I felt everyone was noticing me. Of course around the house I can't wait to get the wig off and wear hats all the time.
That's just how I feel. Just keep trying with the wig and see how it goes. And think of all the less hassle with no shampoo, conditioner etc
Jo x

Thanks so much girls - I really was thinking it was just me...

Anyway I washed and restyled it last night and it feels a little more natural today - I hated that perfect set look which is so unlike me...

Anyway will probably wear it for Christmas - I would feel so guilty having spent so much money on it - but will definitely be donning my trusty bandana as soon as I want to relax....
On the upside I'm feeling grand this week so really looking forward to enjoying the festivities - my family aren't letting me do a thing so I'm fully intending on enjoying the TLC

Happy Christmas girls!

Happy Christmas to you too. Jesus I am terrible I havent washed mine yet - maybe if I do will look better its very flat now. Do you have a real hair one? I went for the inbetween one its really nice and you wouldnt notice it was a wig.

Must wash it tomorrow and see

Merry Christmas to all us Wiggies

Merry Christmas wiggles, I washed mine as I thought it was a bit dead in colour and it was lovely when I washed it but you don't have to wash them that regular. Mine isn't real but it looks it

Okay thats my job for tomorrow then sorted wash Wiggles..... even have special shampoo and conditioner for her.

Must say I miss lathering up in showers these days feel the same coming out as I did coming in. Usually just throw on a bit of shampoo for smell all over my body. No doubt its probably the wrong stuff.

Any good tips of nice body wash for us ladies?

Cheep and Cheerful good not into expensive stuff

Ha ha my sentiments entirely showering is just not the same. I use imperial leather Foamburst I love it it's so soft and sudsy. I used fabric softener as conditioner for my wig and the special shampoo.

Hi,
I found wearing the wig odd at first too, it felt like everyone was looking at me and thinking "look at her in the wig!". My hair dresser told me something useful, he said it was like a new pair of shoes, you need to break it in and get used to wearing it. A couple of weeks it definitely started to become "normal" and physically feelt less full and false. There's nothing wrong with scarfs and hats I wear them round the house and when out walking (wig isn't warm enough!). But there is a lot to be said for pulling on your hair before you head out the door and blending in with everyone particularly when you feeling a bit crap. I suppose I'm saying don't give up on it too quickly, we'd all prefer to keep our own hair but as we haven't it's wigs or colourful scarves or whatever get us through.

Hi Amaryllis,

I have been following your posts on this topic, as I start chemotherapy next week and am currently researching wigs. Just wondered if you found that there was a good selection of wigs at Jim Hatton Hair?

Also do you mind me asking if you got a synthetic wig or natural wig?

I believe that there are pros and cons with both, so just wondered how you are finding it in general, I know initially you said you hated it, but just wondered if you have got used to it now?!

Many thanks,
Mxx

I got mine in pink ribbon in cabinteely and was very happy with it and am getting used to it and am damn glad to have it. Definitely go for a synthetic they look so real and have less maintenance as you have to wash and look after the real one like real hair and their style doesn't keep as well. I definitely don't hate it like I did at the beginning. You'll be fine xxx

Hi Anriocht

Mine is synthetic too and its loooks really weird - agree with Mary way too much maintenance on the "real" hair wig also seemingly they are over a grand!!!

I went to www.hswig.ie I found him great as he was so nice to deal with and he has a lovely room upstairs from his hairdressing salon. He helped me choose wig, then he cut it a bit when he got it to suit me, he also shaved my head for me. He is a lovely easy going guy and really knows his stuff.

Best of luck! Make sure you buy loads of little caps as your head will be really cold when you take wig off

Hi Guys,

When I was diagnosed I was adamant that I was not going to wear a scarf as I felt it was like wearing a big sign around my neck announcing to the world that I had cancer. Like all of you I was devestated when I was told I would lose all my hair. I had long thick locks and would spend hours washing, styling etc. The thought of it all going was a liitle to much for me to bear but sure what choice do you have!!. I went to a number of wig places and looked up a load of them on line. In the end I went with Jennifer Foley in Clontarf. I found Jennifer to be a ray of sunshine, she was so up beat but also very practical and doesnt pull any punches, which suited me. She was able to tell me exactly what was going to happen after my second chemo and suggested that getting my hair shaved off in one go was probably to much for me to cope with so every saturday for a few weeks I went to her and she cut my hair in stages. I chose a real hair wig as my VHI covered it and you are correct they are very expensive, 2000 euro! It was difficult to get a wig exactly the same colour as my own hair as it was a goldy/auburn but she sourced one that was as close as you could get. I was very happy with it initially and it gave us all a good laugh when I would leave my wig in the hairsalon for a wash and blowdry! Although the wig was excellent you still know you are wearing one and I think that is the problem . I have to admit as my treatment went on I stopped wearing it everyday and started to wear the dreaded headscarf, I was just too tired and miserarable on certain days to be bothered with "fixing" it to my head and also I began to find it irritating my head. I only wore it if I was going out at night. When my hair started to grow I had a " putting away" ceremony. I put the wig back in its box and stored it at the back of the wardrobe where I could not see it any more!. I have continued going to Jennifer Foley and she has worked wonders in getting my post chemo hair shiny and healthy and I would have been lost without her skill, inccredible humility and best of all great sense of humour.
Love and light to all of you.
S xxx

Glad to hear the hair is growing back so nicely Shinners thats great! Its funny you say about the wig and NEVER EVER wearing headscarves I was the exact same. I wear the wig when out but have just ordered a few buffs really funky ones in different colours when it gets a bit warmer I will be going out in that. Wouldnt mind actually going out with the first shaved look that was ok but now totally bald so not so nice and when it grows back it will be in stages so not so nice either. Going to a fancy dress as Kojak or Sinead on the 24th dont know which yet

Hi Anriocht

I have to say my wig is beginning to 'grow' on me....excuse the horrible pun- must have read to many cheesy Christmas cracker jokes!!

I hardly wore it over the Christmas had put it to the side thinking I would bring it back to get it restyled. But the few times I have worn it since - everyone says it looks great and really realistic. Even my best frrends and family - so I'm beginning to think that the issue is with me ...and just getting used to the new look. So I am wearing it more now and it is a welcome change from the headscarves and fringes - which btw I also wear alot and which I think are really comfortable & look great.

I would really recommend Jim Hatton - Jim was so nice - and the wig itself is ordered in from France I think - but you can try on some other stlyes just to see what it feels like and how they look on the inside too. My wig is sysnthetic monochrome but does look like real hair, is very easy to style and is a great colour match - I was dark blonde with highlights so Jim organised similar highlights for my wig. He really pushed against real hair as this apparently needs lots of maintenance, is much more expensive and doesn't last as long.

Very best of luck with your chemo - I 've just had my second blast and it really isn't so bad...so far anyway.
Let me know how you get on!
L

Thank you all guys. Glad to hear your second blast of chemo wasn't too bad Amaryllis!

M xx