I'm going in tomorrow......

Good luck tomorrow. I have no advice as im only starting myself.
I will be getting the lumpectomy first (in the next two weeks hopefully), so you will be able to advise me

How was the chemo for you? Were you very sick for long? Did it affect your hair? They wont know if ill need chemo until after the lumpectomy.

The only thing is that the lumpectomy is only an overnighter, so at least not too long in the hospital!

Take care xx

Hi Celine ( hope I got the name right )

Sorry I just saw your post now and you are already gone in. My own experience I had left breast and some nodes removed last August followed by 6 mths of chemo. After the surgery I was not allowed to drive for a while. Within weeks however i was back on the road again going for little walks and (much as I hate it) doing bits of housework. My days consisted of getting up 8 am breakfast leave my daughter to work as she cannot drive. I would go for a rest then up little walk whatever took my fancy. Finished chemo last week and feel more tired now than I was going through it. They say it takes a year out of your life I dont hold with this. I go with the theory There is life before cancer, There is life during cancer and There is life after cancer. You just adapt your life style slightly.
Evelyn

Hi Celene. Just thinking about you today, hope all is well xx

Hi Celine,

Hopefully you got back out of hospital this weekend after your lumpectomy and node removal. Hope it all went ok.

Do you have any feedback yet on the histology of the nodes and tissue removed? We'll all be hoping your nodes were clear.

Regards,

Flo.

Hi celene. Just wondering how you are getting on.
Im going in tomorrow for my lumpectomy (and sentinial node biopsy?). Well, i was told in tomorrow evening to have it done tuesday. I have to wait for a call to see if there is a bed. eek

still here in sjh since tues. Hoping to get out on wed after histology report comes back but consultant confident he got it all. Fingers crossed. Got my own room last night. Bliss. Still feeling pretty tired but then i've already had chemo so expected that. Is it sjh you are coming to hugs? Feel free to arrange to pop up if it is. Moral support etc. I didnt think of the no-driving bit. God that will kill me off! Thanks for all the good wishes. Next stop radio therapy. Take care.
Celine

Hi Celine, Im glad to hear you are doing ok. Im going to the mater, it would have been nice to meet up!

Im shocked to hear that you are still in though. I thought the lumpectomy was just an over night thing? I had been told go in on tuesday, have op, and out on wed. When the breast care nurse rang me the other day she said that 'bed management' will ring me and tell me what time to go in, either monday evening or tuesday morning. I said would i be out on wednsday, she said wed or thurs.

How long have you been told you cant drive for?

Ive just packed my bag....am a bit nervous now.

hi hugs.
You will be fine. Rem i had chemo so immune system low. Also i had to have nodes completely removed so its very different for me. Sure it will just be an overnight thing for you. Heard mater is great so you willbe up and about in no time. Have to ring insursance company about the driving thing and ask doc today. I hope you get a bed now and get it over and done with. I had to hang around at home on the day. Didnt get a call back till after two. Let me know how things are going ok. Best of luck.
Ceine

Hi Celine, thanks for that, it sure is going to be a long day. Did you have to go in the night before? Is that so they can do blood tests etc. Ive prepared myself for possibly two nights (tonight and tuesday night). Its the not knowing...im in limbo.
Its hard to explain to the kids that i might or might not be going in today. So they have been sent to school, but if im going in today we will get them off early. I just cant wait to get it out of me, i feel as if its growing..and growing....and growing.... (although Im sure it isnt...lol)
Im trying to decide if i should bring my laptop (i have 3g modem so can get on the internet), but dont know if its worth the worry of it maybe getting stolen.
Although Ill go mad not being able to get online....

Anyway Im rambling here....Ill keep you up to date

Take care

hi hugs.
Try to just concentrate on yourself for the next few days. Kids will be fine honestly. We found choc ice cream helped if they were feeling down lol! Can your get access to internet thru your phone? My dh rang my phone provider vodafone and i have access for 99cent for 24 hour period. I.ve been on nintendo ds a lot since i came in. Touchmaster. That your thing?
Hope the phone call comes early.
Docs have just been around and sounds like i can drive as soon as i like. Said i can go home in two or three days.
Let me know how you are getting on ok
celine

Hi Celine, I went in for 8 am yesterday, and was out at 1pm today. I feel grand, not too sore at all. The hardest part was waiting around after the blood tests and wire guide, I was bed from 11 am till 2pm waiting to be brought down..it was a killer!
I had a great night sleep last night!

Im having an early night tonight!

Hope youre doing ok xxx

thats great hugs.
Glad to hear it went well for you keep positive. I'm still here in sjh. Hoping yet again to get out today. Just waiting for doc but output from drain is still not at the level it needs to be but nearly there.
Glad you are another step closer to finishing the drama.
Take care.
Celine

Hi there Celine,

Sorry you are still in the hospital. Fingers crossed your fluid output decreases enough soon so you can get rid of the drains and be out for the weekend. It can get very boring in there, can't it? We just long for the simple things we miss about home.

Did you get your histology results yet? Hope they are good. Are you comfortable to share them with us?

Hugs,
Flo.

hi all.
I wont have hisology report until next tues. Gonna crack up if i have to go back down to theatre. Just waiting for doc to see if i can go home today. Looking doubtful.
Celine

God you must be be going mad. I hadnt realised how lucky i was to be able to have my lumps taken out first, before any other treatment.

Do you have to wait for the histology report before they let you leave the hospital? I hope you get out soon xxx

Hi all,
Sorry it took so long to respond. I got home on Saturday night after 11 nights in hosp St. James. Had the node removal and wire guide lumptectomy. I had the health nurse visit me today (would that option be open to you Hugs? I gather you are having a problem with your dressing, it must be distressing). Anyway I am doing the exercises and waiting for my histology results which should be tomorrow afternoon by phone. I am going to seriously crack up if I have to go back in for more surgery. I'm feeling very sorry for myself tonight, sorry! Just thought once I got out of hosp everything would be ok but I'm quite incapacitated (never realised I used my left arm so much) and nervous about the results. Also have numerous appointments over the next few weeks, physio, oncologist, surgeon, radiotherapy guy too. ARRRR when will this p off with itself, I'm fed up with it. I must admit I found the surgery thing quite a handful, I was missing my family so much, just seemed like such a long time, they wouldnt let me out with a drain because I had the chemo before my surgery and was too open to infection.
Sorry for the rant (I know there are prob thousands much worse off than me)
Thanks for reading.
Celine

Thats what we are here for, so rant away! Id go insane if i had to be in for 11 days aswell.

Im sorry youre so sore after the op. did they just take the couple of nodes, or did they take all of them? I really seem have to gotten off lightly so far with the lumpectomy. Other than the freaky liquid build up (dh is calling me sloshy...lol), i seem to be ok so far.

I hadn't even thought about other appointments etc..you really are going to be up to your eyes! At least you will get your histology results soon. Im praying they will be good news.

Please come on here as much as you can. I check in regularly, hoping for some contact with the outside world.

Take care of yourself,
Audrey xxx

Hi all,
Have just found out that my margins aren't clear so I have to go back to see the consultant on Monday and in for theatre again the following Friday. I'm devastated. Don't know if I can face it again. Another general anaestetic (sp). It shouldn't affect the strength in my arm, they took 7 nodes and only 1 was positive. They will go in at the same incision and take another shaving so hopefully it could be a day case though as usual cos I had the chemo first they may keep me overnight. It just drags it out....... Sorry but I'm feeling very low today. If the margins from this don't come back clear (and I'll have to wait for over a week for the results!), I'll be facing a full masectomy, which I wouldn't have minded at the start to be honest but I suppose I should continue with the plan.
Anyone else have this?
Sorry for the negativity, I'm just fed up with it now!
Thanks,
Celine

Hi Celine

I just read your post and feel your frustration, (my story: wire guided biopsy, lumpectomy,then full axillary clearance, followed by 8 cycles chemo fortnightly, now having radiotherapy)
It feels like it's never going to end sometimes doesn't it? I had 2 general anaesthetics in fairly quick sucession and I hated that too. I'm sorry you didn't get clear margins first time round but hopefully this time should do it. At least they are being very thorough. Sounds like you and I have hair at the same stage! Mine is growing back and is exactly like baby hair! It's sooo soft! It seems to be a mixture of light and dark colour, can't really tell yet. I hear it can change though after a year and often goes back to the way it used to be, suppose it's hard to know!
I just want hair now too...I can't wait to ditch my scarves..might have a bonfire...hee hee.
Try and keep the spirits up I think when you can survive chemo you can handle anything...and you've done that! You're getting there xx

Celine, im so sorry to hear that. What a pain! Im afraid they are going to say the same to me on monday, i just have 'that feeling' that the margins wont be clear.
It must be even more frustrating having spent 11 days in hospital already.
Fingers crossed it will come back clear for you.
Take care of yourself xxx

Hi Celine,

So sorry to hear that you have to go back in again cos your margins weren't 'clear'. Its ok to feel sorry for yourself and frustrated. It IS unfair. It is shitty. It is horrible. I totally understand you wishing it would all just P off!! I remember having times when I wanted to scream at everyone to stop poking, prodding, and talking at me. I just wanted to press PAUSE and get away from the cancer and the circus it brought into my life for a while.

Hang in there. You are just tired and demotivated at the moment after your long stay in the hospital. Try to focus on clear margins meaning better prosnosis so the next surgery is a necessary and GOOD step to take. (I know that is much easier said than done!!!) Hopefully, being home and getting better sleep in your own bed with your own things around you will help you recharge a bit before you go back in again.

Remember, SPOIL yourself a little.
Hugs,

Flo.

Hi Celine
That is such a pain in the butt for you. When I had my triple assessment the biopsy came back inconclusive 2nd biopsy inconclusive. Overnight stay to have part of lump removed this came back cancer. Had mastectomy followed by 8 cycles of chemo finished 3 weeks ago and feel like a 30 year old, I am 49.
Hang in there Celine, things will improve and you will come out of all this a stronger person. In the meantime a little cry will do no harm in fact it releases tension
Evelyn
x

Hi girls,
Yes I'm a little more positive today (little...). I just hate the thoughts of waiting again for more results. Do they not have supersonic button or something at this stage? I'm feeling hard done-by and I have to snap out of it by 2 o clock. My husband and children will be back from the parade and I'm going to be happy Celine by that time...... Going to treat them to lunch out somewhere nice, might shake me up a little, at least get dressed anyway!
Happy, happy, happy
and slightly insane.....
Celine

Enjoy your lunch today celine. Its even more important that we treat ourselves during this whole process. Especially if youre feeling slightly insane (i know that feeling...lol)
I love flos words of wisdom

I know what you mean about time spent waiting. Its so frustrating. I have until monday before i know whats next. It just makes it harder not knowing. When I got the result saying 'yes it is cancer' it was ok because it was followed by 'heres what we will do'. So now the lumpectomy has been done and now im in limbo again...lol

It is good that you feel a bit more positive today xxx

Yes I'm feeling much better today and just want to have it over and done with now. Guess the bit thats bothering me is that it was the drain output that was keeping me in hospital for all that time, they wouldn't let me home with drain cos I had chemo. Breast care nurse said I wont have a drain when I wake up after the next surgery, yeah I'll believe it when I see it. I'll be quizzing the surgeon about that on Monday, will crack up if I have to stay in for long, one night I dont mind but any longer.........no! I'm not telling my children about this set back, just telling them I have another appointment, would worry that they wouldnt understand (9,7 & 5) and think I am sicker than I am.
Hope you're all having a good weekend,
Celine

Hi Celine
It is very hard to know what to say or what not to say to children about our illness. It does not matter what age they are. Mine are 19 and 22 and I sometimes think they know too much about cancer and therefore worry. When I was first diagnosed I worried about them as my ex mother in law died of cancer (too advanced when she went to GP) 4 years ago. I sat them down and explained my cancer was totally different to hers.
I try so hard to laugh about my cancer when they are around. We shaved my head together and then raised a glass to it, they thought I was fine but I was in bit's.
Take care my friends
Evelyn

Good luck tomorrow Celine. Its unfortunate that we arent going to the same hospital.
Ask for it in writing that you wont have a drain
Let us know as soon as you can xxx

Best of luck tommorrow Celine, right there with you in spirit xx

Hi Celine, How did things go today?
Have you got a date for your op yet?

Hi all,
Saw the Consultant today and he spent a long time explaining the plan.Basically I'm going in on Friday for the re-excise (repeat lumpectomy). I have to be in early fasting and should go down to theatre first. I could possibly get out around 4pm and worse case scenario is 48 hours. I may have a drain but he doesnt think this will effect me getting home. So I'm preparing for 48 hours scenario (my luck seems to have run out ). I don't feel as bad as I did, sure it just has to be done. The results of the re-excise wont be back until after Easter so I'm just going to try to recover and forget about it. If the margins arent clear this time, I'm looking down the barrel of a masectomy! Guess I just have to give it a go though, I was so happy that I could still do cleavage (You'd swear I was a night-clubbing young one or something but ya know if I wanted to wear a nice dress or something - I rarely do!). So now I need not to pick up any infection or anything over the next few days so laying low. I can't bloody drive anyway, my arm is too sore. Took my hubbies automatic car other day and I only barely managed with that. How is everyone else feeling?
Take care,
Celine

That doesn't sound too bad Celine, fingers crossed its the one day for you.

Sounds similar to me, hopefully my re-excise will be tuesday next week. If they dont get clear margins ill be having a mastectomy aswell.
I know what you mean about the clevege, i was the same, glad i could still fill out my nice tops....i hope it lasts....lol

My breastcare nurse was telling me about the place to go to get my wig, but I will get more details when i get to that stage.

So deep breath in...and off we go again. keep in touch and let us know how you get on xx

Oh so you're definitely going for re-excise too, thats crap eh? Poor us! I wont need my wig for much longer, didnt wear it much anyway, its a kinda short cropped brown one with kinda highlights in it. You can adjust the size etc. Mad thing to pass on but do you want it? I also have the shampoo and the stand thing so if you feel comfortable about that, theres yours! If you think it would suit you could use it as a spare. They're mad expensive so if you want to have a look at it before you buy your own one,feel free, maybe you have medical card anyway? My medical card didnt come thru until recently so I had to buy the wig myself. Have a few scarf thingys aswell which I will be looking to get rid of pretty soon I hope.
Hope you're feeling good tonight.
I really like this forum, good for the soul.
Celine

Hi Celine
I did not like my first wig either too short. I went on e bay and bought 3 new ones (from China) all long. Brought them to my hairdresser and she cut them into great styles. They cost very very little, check it out.
evelyn

Thats very kind of you Celine. It would be a great excuse for us to meet up
Id be willing to try any wigs or scarves...lol.
I do have my medical card thank god, so the breast care nurse said there will be no hassel, and she will point me in the direction of the place to get a wig to match my own hair. I told her i was planning to get a couple to change my image (really cheap on ebay). I hope im as cheerful about it when i get to that stage...lol

Im feeling pretty good tonight. I wasnt suprised they didnt get the margins, so no shock there. I think its probably a bit surreal still.

Im going to visit arc house in eccles street and have a chat with them. It looks like a good place to go.

I agree with you Celine, it really is good for the soul (and the sanity...lol)

Hi Celine,

Good luck for Friday. Will be keeping my fingers crossed that it goes well and you ARE just in for the day.

Remember even if you do need a mastectomy after this, you can have it with immediate reconstruction. And you CAN still have cleavage afterwards! There are lots of options out there now. I've done a good bit of research into the different types over the past couple of years so I can help you find out more IF you need to at some stage.

I am so glad to see you and Hugs are finding this forum helpful. Talking to other patients going through something similar was what helped me the most too.

Hugs,
Flo.

Flo,
Thanks so much for that, an immediate re-construction sounds good, didnt know it was an option. I honestly dont think I would go back for a reconstruction down the line if I got the all-clear and my foot out the door of the hospital. BCN told me to pack my bag just in case they keep me for a night or 2. Its because I had chemo first, they like to keep an eye on you post-op, so I'm saying its for 2 nights and if I get out before then its a bonus.

My eldest is going for a sleepover at his friend's house (my friend too) and my brother/sister in law are juggling the other 2. Just sods law that they are breaking for Easter that day so finished at 12.30.

Ironic that its daffodil day on Friday eh? I've gotten so many offers from people to drive me to coffee mornings on Friday for cancer. I know it prob sounds mad but I wouldn't go even if I wasnt having surgery. Think I'm gone a bit odd and I cant explain it, and really dont want to sound ungrateful but I had a kinda "cancer brigade" locally trying to take me out to the pictures, calling for coffee etc. To be honest I just didnt welcome it, wasnt rude but didnt kinda entertain it if you know what I mean. God I sound awful now dont I? Its just that I have great friends who have been so good and have celebrated and commiserated with me over the years as I have with them. Around the cancer brigade (sorry prob very derogatory term, but you know what I mean), I felt very cancer-ish and boy some of them were quite persistent. It also made me feel ancient (they are a lot older than me and with pure hearts of gold I'm sure). I'm sure they are damned if they do and damned if they dont eh! Its just a personal thing I suppose. Glad I got that off my chest! God I start to write a thank you and still end up whinging.

On the flip side, my elderly neighbour, who I have known all my life dropped in when I got diagnosed, wouldn't come in but just handed me a lemon cake she made (one she knows I have a weakness for!), its one of the nicest things I have ever experienced.
Thanks for reading the moaning,
The forum is great.
Celine

Hi celine and thanks for your message on my page.
In case I am not on before Friday best of luck will be thinking about you.
One thing this whole cancer business has thought me is "at the moment I am the most important person" You go wherever you want to go, and with whoever you want to go with. People mean well but sometimes we are just not in the mood to go where they think we should go. There are times when all I want to do is talk about my journey so far other times I dont want to hear the word breast cancer. So Celine you do your own thing girl . . . unless it's against the law

Good luck Celine, hope youre in and out in no time xxx
Try to get back on to let us know.

Evelyn, you are dead right, we need to look after ourselves right now.

Hi Ladies,
I can't believe I'm posting tonight but yes I'm home. All went well today and I had a great nurse who really understood how much I wanted to go home and she helped and pushed me to make it happen. Must say the level of care was excellent, she stayed with me all day! Was a bit shocked that I didnt get any relaxing tab before I went to theatre but it worked out fine if a little surreal. I'm drugged up to the eyeballs now and prob a bit elated at getting home but feeling so good to be in my own home instead of a ward. Surgeon says the lumpectomy went well, I wont get the results for about a week and a half but I'm going to try to put it out of my mind now and concentrate on getting better.
Thanks so much for all the good wishes, I felt you all there with me today
All my friends and family were almost burning down churches and houses with the amount of candles I had lit in my honour. Well they certainly worked, all I wanted was to get home.
A girl I met on chemo is having a really tough time, I wont go into the details as it might be too much info for some. I so feel for her, its awful. If ye have any prayers or positive thoughts left, can you direct them to her please?
So lets all have a good nights sleep and thanks again,
Celine

Thats really good news Celine, Im so happy for you!
I didnt get any relaxing tablet before I went to theatre last time, although i wouldnt have minded one
I can imagine how happy you are to be home alright!

Ill say a prayer for that woman you met.

Hi all,
Well I'm 3 days on from the re-excision. Felt a bit breathless last night and St. James's rang this morning and when I told the nurse she advised me to go to GP. I have a chest infection, its grand though, just started on antibiotics. Conscious of having myself well for Saturday when we are going away for Easter, kids are so looking forward to it so would hate for anything to get in the way. Felt very down in the dumps yesterday afternoon and this morning. (post-surgery blues?). Trying to put the results issue out of my head. I know they will be favourable,power of positive thinking! Everyone else feeling well?
Celine

You must have gotten a fright when you wern't well! Glad youre feeling better now, and hope all goes well for easter for you! With a bit of luck the weather will be ok.

Im going in tomoroww morning for my re-excise. I have to be there for 7.30. Hopefully it will just be one day....fingers crossed!!!! Please god they will get it all this time, i just want to get on to the next stage of treatment!

Hi Hugs,
Wishing the best of luck tomorrow. Hope you get yourself a good nurse for the day too, mine was great and had me up an dressed by 3pm! I'm 3 days on and feeling grand, better than the time before actually so sure you will be grand.
Take care,
Celine

Hi all,
I had to go to GP yesterday, it was weird, 1st time since I got my medical card, delighted to walk out without paying ha ha. I had felt a bit breathless and turns out I have the beginning of a chest infection, got some antibiotics. Took them yesterday and today and this evening I had a bout of diarrohea (sp?). Really felt vile but its passed now and I have to ring the doc about starting a different antibiotic, was terrified ringing the doc on call service, thought they might try to get me to go to hosp, think I have a phobia now. I have the public health nurse coming to visit tomorrow so sure I will be fine. Must say though that my arm feels tight and I'll be glad to get someone to check it out. My friend is taking my kids on a sleep over tomorrow night, they are so excited. This weather is not great for having 3 kids off school on hols, I suppose the weather would have to bloody turn on this week! They are just watching tv/fighting with each other and its driving us mad. Thankfully my husband is off work for the 2 weeks too.

Anyway I hope that you are all well,
Sleep tight,
Celine

Hi celine
Hope your chest infection cleared up, sometimes anti biotics can cause the runs and once you change tablets you fell well again. We can all get a little paranoid at times about our health because of what we went through, I think it's normal. We all got a pretty big scare when the word cancer was used I know I did. My problem is I feel my body let me down. I was running around healthy as the next person or so I thought. Suddenly i was been told you need a mastectomy followed by 6 mths chemo because you have cancer. I remember thinking no way sure i feel fine, if I had cancer i would be sick. To cut this short I think we survivors will be a little extra careful about aches/pains/lumps/rashes.

Evelyn x x

Hi all,
Hope you are feeling well tonight.
Evelyn,
Know how you feel, I never felt healthier than before I was diagnosed, had lost weight intentionally and felt great about myself. Had taken a 3 year career break to look after the kids and my Mother.......got diagnosed 2 weeks later, whats that all about? I had such great health, was getting full nights sleep (after 3 babies this was a luxury!). Yeah my body let me down too. So angry. Anyway onwards and upwards as they say.....

Had a terrible day yesterday, think I had a tummy bug. I stayed with the antibiotics cos I dont think it was their fault so I'm feeling much better today and had a great sleep last night. Honestly the night before was awful, isn't 4am with a quiet house a very dim and bleak place? The thoughts in my head were horrendous! So I'm much better today and looking forward to the weekend away with my family.

Hope you all have a very Happy Easter,
Take care,
Celine

Celine
Have a great weekend you deserve it.
Yes middle of the night is the worst time for all sorts of weird thoughts running through my head too. Knowing someone else have them makes me feel better though
Evelyn

Hi all,
I'm just back from Westport and it was a great break, highly recommend the kids club bit by the way (any of you Mammies with smallies, its the business, they collect the children at 9.20am for the breakfast train to take them to breakfast and then they take them off to the pool,so you can go back to bed! Now ladies, it doesnt get much better than that eh?) Give me a shout if you want the details, evening entertainment for them is great too, dinner by ourselves, bliss!

Anyway I got THE phonecall yesterday and YES he got clear margins this time. I'm so happy about it, I finally feel I can get back on the journey. I have to set up an appointment with my oncologist and then I'm on Tamoxifen (any info greatly received?). Then 7 weeks of radio therapy but I feel I can actually cope with that. Its do-able. Just felt I was in limbo there for a while, not knowing when I could re-start or get a end-date for all this mess.
My hubby and family were all so thrilled and relieved. It's funny but I kinda thought this would happen, I felt much more confident this time.

I'm doing my arm exercises everyday and feel its coming on quite well, still cant put my hand up completely over my head but I'm getting there.

I hope everyone is feeling good tonight and for the ladies that are expecting results today and tomorrow, well best of luck and I'll be thinking of ye. Actually it is a week for positive results so you should be grand, they aint giving out any bad ones this week!
Take care and good thoughts,
Celine

Thats fab news!!!!! The results really do seem to be good this week. I hope next weeks isnt gor the bad news....as my appointment is next monday

Evelyn is starting tamoxifen aswell, so she might have some info for you on it.
It must be fantastic to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel!

That hotel sounds great! Im not sure what we are going to be doing for the summer holidays. Ill be right in the middle of chemo, so cant plan anything until I know how its going.

Hi Celine
I get the all clear and my pc gets sick it's crashing all night Delighted you enjoyed your break in Westport, have never been there but might just go now. Feel like I could travel to the moon at present, well if the shuttle drove me as I am so tired. Should be in bed at this hour of the morning but realized I've got 11 mths of my life to make up

The only thing my oncologist mentioned was the hot flushes My pharmacist said to go on my instincts and if I felt something was not right go to doctor and get it checked out, sound advice i think.

Evelyn x x