Breast cancer
posted by WicklowLady
06 May 2013

LIFE IS GOOD

Last reply: 09 May 2013 14:42

Just wanted to say to all our members that haven't started treatment or have just started or are in the middle of it, that there is a life after it. I thought when I was in the middle of chemo and starting radiotherapy that I was never going to feel any sense of normality again but today I did. My poor hubbie wasn't well over the weekend so roles were reversed and we went for a drive in the sun today and had some lunch out and I just wanted to scream"Oh how I appreciate life " a sandwich in a little cafe and I was so happy and contented. No hospital now for three weeks so going to enjoy it.

People are strange met a lady I knew today who got breast cancer same time as me, just had lumpectomy and radiotherapy, no chemo, but she wasn't really happy, complaining about the soreness in her breast from the radiotherapy and I just got the feeling she felt hard done by, because she got cancer. I had to say to her that if she had have had chemo it would have been a lot worse and the pain in her boob would have paled into insignificance . I said "we are so lucky" she's still looking at me.

Cant believe I'm getting so many compliments about my hair, makes you feel good too. Even my lovely radiotherapy oncologist said to me on Monday "the hair's lovely Mary" and he's as bald as an egg lol but lovely and handsome.

Just thought I'd share todays thoughts with you my dearest friends. Xxxx

14 comments

Comments

commented by encee
06 May 2013

06 May 2013 19:06

Well said Mary!
Every day I count my blessings and think of all the good things in my life. And I also have to remind myself that this is my new normal and to accept it - I may tire easier, I may not be able to swing out of the rafters... So what!?! I can do loads of other stuff that gives me as much enjoyment!
Continued good health to you xxx

commented by katykaty
06 May 2013

06 May 2013 20:04

That's really good to hear someone who has nearly come through it , I only started my treatment on weds and finding it hard to adjust to not been able to just up and do all the things I am use to doing , but I will use each day as a learning curve and live with whatever comes my way. Not happy about it but if it means at the end I am free of breast cancer I will never complain .

commented by WicklowLady
06 May 2013

06 May 2013 20:08

Oh katykaty I will be thinking of you but you'll come through this just look at the great women on this forum. Honestly you will look back on it. You just have to do what your body tells you and let everyone look after you. What hospital you having your treatment?

commented by katykaty
06 May 2013

06 May 2013 22:57

I'm doing my treatment in Waterford Regional , they have been very good there .I am doing the herceptin trial by injection as well so am been followed up by the clinical trial team as well .Your right about listening to your body ,it is very hard to adjust for me , because I never really did the sick thing ! So been a bit of a shock to the old body .With a partner , two boys 9+7 , three dogs and a horse sitting down didn't really come in to it ! Lol.Had lumpectomy then 3 weeks later mastectomy and then 5weeks after that chemo started, at least they did not hang about .

commented by Superwhy
06 May 2013

06 May 2013 23:17

Well said Mary and is great for us the hear when going through treatment. I think the good weather really helps the mood. I find a good walk always make me feel better.
Thank u..

commented by Astra
07 May 2013

07 May 2013 14:38

Yes is great to be finished and be able to look forward. I'm sorry, but I thought your comment about the woman you met was a bit unfair saying that she JUST had a lumpectomy and radiotherapy. She still got breast cancer. Just because she avoided chemo dosen't make her cancer any less upsetting and traumatic. I too also just had a lumpectomy and radiotherapy and I must say I also felt that attitude from women that had chemo.
Sorry to put a dampner on things.

commented by WicklowLady
07 May 2013

07 May 2013 16:44

I'm sorry Astra 'just' probably wasn't the right word to use and I apologise.

It's just when you see what people suffer and don't even have the reassurance of maybe being cured that you have to be positive and think how lucky you are and grab life by the throat and be happy. The reason you get that attitude from people who have had chemo is, as the women here will tell you, until you have been through chemo you don't know how bad & horrendous it is. Hair falling out, nails falling off, pains in your bones, naseau, constipation, diarrhoea, chronic fatigue , low immune system etc etc etc.

If they told me God forbid, that I had cancer again but I didn't have to have chemo I'd be so delighted, beyond words. Ok we got the dreaded cancer but we are going to be ok and that's reason for smiling in my view. Of course I would have preferred not to get cancer at all but what I got wasn't the worst case scenario so I'm happy and I've nothing to complain about.

Sorry if I offended but it's all relative and in comparison to chemo, radiotherapy and a lumpectomy to me are very easy to deal with.

commented by Kathleen
08 May 2013

08 May 2013 21:44

Hi Astra,

I agree that any cancer diagnosis and treatment is very upsetting and traumatic and I am very sorry that you ever had to join us here.

My guess is that anyone who has been down the chemo route, who tells you how lucky you are, really means it but does not think for a moment that you have had an "easy time". We just all wish we could have been diagnosed early enough for lumpectomy and radiotherapy to have been sufficient. All of that is hard enough for anyone to deal with.

Take care

Kath

commented by WicklowLady
08 May 2013

08 May 2013 21:51

For anyone that has been diagnosed with cancer it's devastating but chemo is awful on top if everything else. I don't think early detection will stop you having chemo as I found mine very early and it hadn't spread. Depends on the type of tumour I think

commented by katykaty
08 May 2013

08 May 2013 22:34

Mine was found early and was very small but it still made no difference ti my treatment, it was more the type it was (her2)+ the position of the two tumors how far apart they were and the extensive dcis inbetween.The surgeon also did not get clear margins after mastectomy all these things made them go the chemo route,my age was another factor (45) .The oncologist explained that they had no way of knowing if the left a tiny couple of cells behind and that they might not stay tiny ! I still look at them finding it a blessing in disguise really but it still does not make the treatment road any easier .

commented by Ania
08 May 2013

08 May 2013 23:17

Sorry Wicklow lady but I think it's all relative. Cancer is cancer, and no matter what the treatment it's always going to be difficult. Having gone through all the treatment myself, personally I found surgery to be the worst, chemo didn't bother me to much because the side effects while difficult are only temporary. Anything the leaves a permanent mark, such as a lumpectomy I feel is still a traumatic event. So I think it depends on the person, but none of it s good, none of the treatments are easy.

It's not always easy to look on the bright side afterwards, some of us are finding it very difficult, because life doesn't pause and its hard to pick ur self up and start again. While I am delighted for everyone who can plough on after treatment, some of us are struggling. So I feel for this woman u mention. The impact of cancer diagnosis and treatment on people's lives and how individuals deal with it is all relative. I dont think gets away lightly from this.

This is just my opinion Image removed.

commented by WicklowLady
09 May 2013

09 May 2013 09:54

I think maybe the reason I'm thinking like this is because my good friend and work colleague has just found out she's terminally ill. She has tumours on her brain, lung, bowel and bones and is getting 10 sessions of radiotherapy on her brain tumours to allow her to sort out her affairs before she goes. I was getting my radiotherapy at the same time as her last week. She only has weeks left and she is only 48. That's why I count myself lucky and anyone that gets the chance to live their life, scars and all should be really grateful for that. Sorry but that's the way I feel. I know it's tough for us all, I appreciate it and I'm not making small of anyones experiences but we need to look at the people around us who never got a chance and say thank God I beat this cancer. Of course we will worry, it's only natural, of a reoccurence everytime we go for a scan or mammogram, but we have to stay positive I suppose.

commented by Neadi
09 May 2013

09 May 2013 10:03

I can see both sides here.......

And there are some days I feel both sides too!
Yes Mary we are in some ways very very lucky that we happened to find our cancers and get them treated in the best ways possible, but then there are days I feel very very unlucky and downright angry that this horrible horrible monster had to come into my life and my lovely husbands life- and turn it upside down, not to mention always looking over my shoulder for the rest of my life.

But now that chemo is over (thank god!!!!) there does seem to be some brightness emerging. And Mary for me that was the worst part of my journey...haven't had rads yet!!

I have my mastectomy scar- I was unlucky enough not to be able to get an expander and I hate it with a passion, but I know that all these things can be fixed, yet have it as a badge to remind me of this truely awful time.....

I think everyone with a cancer diagnosis goes through the mill and it's

bloody awful- it's how we deal with it is the way forward.

As we all say onwards and upwards- life is rocky, life can be hard, but after all we've been through, lets grab it and get out there and enjoy as much as we can and be good to ourselves

Xxxxxx

commented by Kathleen
09 May 2013

09 May 2013 14:42

Hi ladies,

I see both sides too.

On the down side, I am struggling, especially at work. I've lost confidence in my own work. My colleagues and boss couldn't be nicer, they are patient and helpful, but in my heart I know that I'm just not making the grade anymore. It is getting harder to believe that some day I'll be back on form.

Also on the downside, though some of the side effects of chemo are temporary, some are not. 14 months after finishing, I still have stabbing pains in my feet, not all day long but often enough to be well reminded that I had chemo. I also have ongoing balance problems. I hope that someday I'll be able to wear heels again ... The idea that this neuropathy could be permanent is scary.

I try to think of some of the people I met in the last year to put things in perspective.

-The lady whose breast cancer returned in her bones and who has had regular doses of chemo for years. She hasn't had any hair anywhere for 4 years. When she takes a treatment break to go on holidays for example she knows that her cancer is taking advantage of the break. I felt truly humbled by her optimism, her acceptance of the rotten things life has thrown at her and her determination to live her life to the fullest possible.

-And the lady I met at the physio whose cancer showed up as a lump inside her gums but was really already metastasized breast cancer. She is riddled with cancer and very thin. She had part of her jaw removed as well as a breast, she speaks with difficulty, and probably eats with difficulty too, but is still a bright and bubbly person, determined to overcome her cancer, to have her jaw re-constructed and her breast. Physically she must be radically different now,and she says that no one recognizes her anymore. When I meet her I feel inspired to count my own blessings.

Counting my blessings is what keeps me going, but yes, of course it is hard. It's very hard and very unfair. Very difficult to not get bogged down in the negative sides and to believe that onwards and upwards is truly possible.

Hugs to you all

Kath

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