trying not to worry about money, but not succeeding very wel
[color=#800080:2vvxk0m2]I'm just wondering is anyone else finding the 'financial' end a little bit tough as a result of having a cancer diagnosis. I'm trying so hard not to worry about the 'money end' but it is a reality unfortunately.
I have no entitlement to Disability Benefit but thankfully I do have an entitlement to Disability Allowance (which is means tested) but even though I have applied there is approx a 5/6mth wait for the claim to be processed. This means that even though I had my surgery in July I only got the paperwork completed in August and sent off so its looking like Jan/Feb again I will get that sorted. (My head was in shock from the diagnosis and it never crossed my mind to apply for supports, I was just doing well to deal with the news I had cancer).
I'm not sailing through chemo as I had hoped and I am much more tired now and need my naps during the day. I also seem to be prone to nausea/tiredness and neutropenia during chemo. I had my surgery just before chemo (double mastectomy, immediate reconstruction and axillary node clearance) and still attend physio twice most weeks to work on my arm movement and issues with the breast scars. I can't imagine how I could work through this treatment. I know some people do and I wish I felt that level of energy and could.
I am finding the delay in getting social welfare supports really really worrying and frustrating. It is making our lives so hard right now and we are trying to hold it together for the sake of the children. The heating is on a lot this year. I can't believe I'm a 'cold creature' as I used never feel the cold. I never even possessed a warm woolly jumper as I just never felt the cold. But since my mastectomy I am freezing all the time. I have even taken to wearing 'thermal vests' to try to keep warm and the girl who never owned a woolly jumper now lives in them along with scarves and fleece hats. 
In previous years we were very economical with our heat and we got used to it but this year is different and if we were as economical as other years I would be permanently frozen.
I've looked into what supports are out there and have found out we have can't qualify for 'fuel allowance' as you have to be 15mths on a social welfare payment to qualify. Also found out we will qualify for support with heating etc. under the Household Benefits package but only when I get a decision on my application. So really no support available until then which looks like Jan/Feb.
I look forward to getting back to working, I can't wait until my body is finished all treatments and I can get back to some sort of really good 'normal' as soon as possible. I'll never take the privilege of being able to go out to work for granted again after this. I suppose right now though I feel a little guilty that cancer happened to me and that its left us in a bit of a financial stress. I just wish there wasn't a 5/6mth delay in processing social welfare supports. I feel like screaming at them that I can't delay having cancer for 5/6mths I have it now. I know I'm supposed to 'relax', not 'stress' but its easier said than done when you have a young family and feel the responsibility of having to provide for them knowing if only I hadn't cancer I would have different options open to me now.
In saying all that I'm so grateful to have found my cancer and had the chance to fight it with the hope of a really positive outcome. And I suppose that in itself makes me feel awful to be worrying about money when I know it could be a lot worse if I hadn't found my cancer when I did.
Trying to stay positive and focused on getting a really good outcome from the surgery, chemo and radiotherapy but find I am worrying so much about the other stuff its starting to get me down now. [/color:2vvxk0m2]
Comments
For other reasons I was also financially stressed at the begining of my cancer journey. I got some help from the Irish cancer society to be able to afford to put petrol in the car as i was going up and down to dublin a few times a week, until the illness benefit came in. It was really helpful so I would also suggest contacting the charitable foundations...that's what they are there for!!!
Hi Sunshine
Hope you are ok petal - I'm sure you must be worn out trying to hold it all together; trying to put on a show to everyone but worrying behind closed doors. And please don't put yourself under any other pressure by comparing yourself to other people undergoing treatment - great for them if they are back to work but they may not be in the same situation as you are, so take it easy on yourself.
Unfortunately I was in the same situation last year when I was diagnosed and it transpired that I not only was 4 weeks short of stamps to qualify for illness benefit but we didn't qualify for disability allowance because my husband was earning too much. I promise you he is not a highly paid CEO of a bank but a decent, hard working foreman that is not on mega-bucks, I can tell you.
So here is how we survived; loan from family, went back to the bank and took a 3 month holiday from our mortgage and also claimed from whatever insurance was tied into our mortgage, when we sent back our MED1 form, we also claimed for our travelling expenses (have a look on Revenue to see if you qualify for that).
Things that we didn't do, but suggest you do; go into your community welfare officer with a pile of your household bills and indicate the problems you are having - they might give you a Supplementary Welfare Allowance.
Get onto the Irish Cancer Society and see if they can offer financial assistance; also some local cancer support centres may have a fund to help out people in financial difficulty. And have a chat with the hospital social worker, they will give you a few ideas as to how you may be able to secure a bit of help too.
And don't be afraid to ask!!! If you need it, you'll get it. And you have to mind yourself x
Hi Sunshine
Nothing worse than having that hanging over your head. I was the exact same. I am self employed so dont qualify for anything did have some stamps but not enough for disability. Hubby is working but we cant manage on just his salary. Like Encee said there are a few things you could do this is what I did.
First got onto our bank with the mortgage and told them that we would be unable to pay our mortgage for at least a year - did all the paperwork and showed them on paper that literally we couldnt afford it. THey came back with a 6 month deferment and told me to reapply in another 5 months for another break. THey were so extremely nice to me it was great.
I have another loan with Credit Union I am going to talk to them too and tell them my situation and ask them to hold that off for a year as well. It comes down to the fact that you cant pay it so be upfront and say listen I cant pay it because I have cancer so I will pay you when I am better. Play the Cancer Card as much as you can.
I also had an outstanding hospital bill from problems I had right before cancer and they sent me out a form that I could fill in "circumstances why I couldnt pay bill" gonna fill that in and hopefully HSE will write it off.
You've so much going on and you need to be able to concentrate on yourself. Also if family can help take all the help you can this will not be forever.
You could also try to medical social worker as other have said and the cancer society do a Care to Drive scheme where someone can pick you up and bring you to appointments and drive you home and there is no charge its run by volunteers.
Knock on everyones door -you need to get better go to Citzens Advice Burea as well and as Encee said bring your bills down to the social welfafe and tell them you just dont have money to pay them.
I have found it amazing when I have been upfront with banks and bills and said listen I just cant pay with it you need to come up with a solution for me! Be tough with them - they money aint there so whats the plan.
Best of luck please let us know how you get on.
Dee
Hi Sunshine
Most of the stuff I was going to say the girls have covered but definitely approach the Marie Keating Foundation - the breast care nurses in Vincents mentioned it to me and said they would apply on my behalf if I needed it. I said I would if I was desperate - am managing at the moment but know it is there as an option. Definitely see your hospital medical social worker. They can be really helpful.
Mortgage lender etc - approach them and get an interest only or mortgage break will be better. I did this and it was a huge relief. Your local cancer support might have some more ideas.
Best of luck. You really need to be thinking of you and you alone at the moment. Beat the beast and the rest will take care of itself. Lean on the family and friends. You would do it for them afterall!!!!
Dane
[color=#BF0080:84ko2m4b]thanks so much everyone......even just to know I'm not the only one who has found it difficult at some stage. I have done some of things people suggested but maybe not enough. Still trying to pay interest only mortgage and credit union loan on a basic income until we get social welfare payments sorted so maybe its time to swallow my pride and ask for more support if it means I can relax and just concentrate on fighting this.
On a serious note though I have felt the effects of worrying this week and feel shattered physically and mentally with it. Not sleeping great this week and when I do having weird nightmares which I know are probably connected to worrying about our financial stuff. And I know I have to concentrate my energy both mentally and physically on getting through chemo and getting 'well'.
I have been in touch with the Irish Cancer Society and can only say they have been a lifesaver and so helpful which enabled us to get our heating system fixed up and working so at least I can be warm. This has made a huge difference as heat is so so important right now....its my new 'thing'. HEAT
Its amazing how only a few short weeks ago I just hadn't a clue. I never imagined how much cancer could change things in our life. I thought once I had the surgery over me that was the biggest thing but I never thought about things like the financial end or heating etc. I thought I would sail through chemo as the drugs are so good but that wasnt the case. I knew I could suffer from fatigue but nothing prepared me for just how exhausting this would be and that I could literally sleep for days straight, get up and just want and need to sleep again. Its a learning curve all right. I've been through many things in my life but this is a huge learning experience. It is testing me to my limits at times as so much comes at you in such a short space of time.
This week I've promised myself to ask for more support and to avail of the supports that are out there locally to me and maybe do some 'relaxation' which I have been reluctant to get into. Maybe now is the right time. [/color:84ko2m4b]
With you on the not sleeping and when I do the weird nightmares. Definitely due to anxiety, stress or worrying about cancer, treatment, prognosis and finances. Have the one where you wake up and you have only a few minutes to do something before a Bomb goes off, house goes on fire, car crashes etc. You have to act to
avoid this but don't know what to do. It is all anxiety driven.
Take card
Well I've been rescuing people from a 9 storey building which was on fire. I carried lots of people down to the 4th floor where there were lots of firemen waiting to take them but it was only me going up to the floors above for some reason. I woke up exhausted from all that imaginary climbing stairs and rescuing people in my sleep. I've also jumped up awake on many nights thinking I was dead and thinking that wasnt meant to happen. But then a huge relief when Im alive 'again'. I never had weird and wacky dreams like these......and I'm not on steroids which I might have blamed. Had a bad reaction so doing chemo without them.
Oh sunshine, sorry tonhear you have financial woes on top of your diagnosis and treatments. Have you spoken to the hospital social worker? There might be other way to get support in advance of disability stuff coming thru.
Shortly after I was diagnosed, my DH was made redundant. I was off work but being paid TG. Hospital social workers talked to me about other supports available thru some charities like Marie Keating Foundation. I never applied as we thankfully were ok and DH was back working within 3 months.
If social workers don't help suggest you contact Irish Cancer Soc as well as Marie Keating Foundation yourself. I am sure you don't like asking for handouts but if it is causing you stress then you might just have to overcome your pride ....
Good luck, let us know how you get on.
Lindylu