Post mast. and chemo
Hi,
I am just wondering if there is anyone else out there thinking the same as me.
I am a year down the road after my op and chemo from breast cancer, hair etc is back to normal and while it was great to see all of this happening, I seem to have come down with a bang. I was very positive all thru my treatment and now all of a sudden I feel uptight and worried. I can only explain it like panic attacks and when I recall what I have gone thru, I get this sick feeling and have it in my head I am going to get the cancer again and my time is short. I have no medical reason to think this but it is keeping me awake at night. My family and friends all tell me how well I look and I was great etc., but at the back of my mind I keep having this horrible feelings. I do not want to talk to my family about this as they have gone thru enough sleepless nights about me and they now have gone back to believing it is all over.
Am I bringing this all of myself, has anyone else out there with breast cancer gone thru this or going thru it.
I would be interested to head from you.
Comments
Hi Noreen,
Today is a better day, was feeling pretty low yesterday.
Thank you for your reply, it is good to know that someone understands. I sometimes get selfish and forget that there are other forms of cancer and people go thru the same treatment and fears.
I found yesterday that it even helped me to write to this forum and see it on paper, sometimes I feel no matter how much your family and friends want to help you they cannot understand how you feel like someone that has gone thru it.
Again, thank you and I hope our message helps other people in the same position.
We have to look forward and not back and enjoy everyday. One thing I have learned from this nightmare is you do not postpone anything in life, just do it and enjoy as no one knows what is around the corner.
Good luck and good health to you Noreen.
Hi Hazel
I know exactly how you feel. I had BC 2 years ago and I still get those feelings. I wake up in the night crying and feeling so alone and afraid. I think its because the of all I went through while having treatment there were other people ie Doctors Nurses Specalists around and then whossh no one I'm on mine own and now the reality sets in. Its weird. I too have my family and friends but they haven't been through it and I dont think they'd understand. I feel like a hypocondriac thinking will it come back shouldn't I been doing something to stop it. I even get mad at myself asking how did I let this happen to me. Crazy or what. Anyway then it all passes and upps there it is again all those feelings. If you every want to meet up and talk about it email me and perhaps we could arrange to have a coffee. Sometimes its better talking to a stranger or someone who knows how things are
Hi Bevan,
Thank you for your reply, it sounds mad, but it is good to know that someone else has the same feeling.
As I live in a different part of the country, it is difficult to meet up but do you know about Reach for Recovery? My doctor mentioned them to me at the begining of this nightmare and with all that was going on I did nothing about looking into it. Sometimes I feel I should get in touch but I get this feeling that I am letting myself down by admitting the way I feel and try to pick myself up on my own.
Having said that, I do feel a little better getting replys from the likes of yourself who has gone thru this and knowing how you feel.
I have another check up coming up soon and it is always on my mind, what if I get a bad result. On my better days I tell myself to cope on and stop wasting time when I feel good and get on with my life and most days I do that and thank God and anyone else up there for giving me the good days. Then others days I am asking why I am in this position and what did I do wrong to have this worry, yes I know that is selfish but sometimes you have to give yourself a break and be selfish.
I hope this rant helps you a little. Maybe I should listen to by own advise and get in touch with Reach for Recovery!!!!
Hope to hear from you again.
Miriam.
Hi Hazel,
I didn't have breast cancer, mine was in the throat but I can empathise with what your going through. I am three years post treatment and even now I still sometimes get down and feel fearful about the cancer returning. I think that because treatment is so harsh and for a time so hectic that these feelings are natural, a sort of post-traumatic stress thing, and we just have to work through them. Hope this helps.
Noreen