returning to work after breast cancer.

Hi Huggybear,

I think this really varies from person to person. I have met patients over the years who actually worked the whole way through treatment and others who never went back to what they did previously. Sadly, financial pressure forces many of us back to work before we are completely ready.

My sister has just gone back to work after her treatment but luckily she had holiday leave built up and is able to do 3 day wks for a while before going back full time. Is this something you could look into? I think its also very important to talk to your doctor about this beforehand and explain your anxiety. And talk to your employer before you go back to see if they can be flexible and work with you until you build yourself back up both physically and mentally again. Are they approachable and understanding?

Personally, I was very lucky to phase in a return to work and work from home (and still get all or some Illness Benefit until I was able to return full time). Sadly I have had to stop again because of complications BUT while going back to work can be very scary, it can also be GREAT for your confidence and self esteem. AND it is wonderful to feel somewhat 'normal' again and not have your life taken over by 'cancer, cancer, cancer' (which is how I felt for much of the time during treatment).

Good luck! I hope it goes great for you.
Hugs,

Flo.

Hi Flo,

Thanks a million for the honest advice. I have spoken to my employer and i will talk to my gp also.

I will talk everything through with them both. Glad to hear you are getting back in there with work on a phased basis.

Good health to you and mind yourself,
Thanks again,

Huggybear xx
Radical Mastectomy april 09.

Hi Huggybear

I am back to work nearly a year after my treatment and I love being back at work most of the time though some days I still wish I could get paid and not work !!!!

I was on maternity leave when I was diagnosed so was about 20months out of work between when I left on Mat leave and when I returned after my sick leave.

If you do plan on returning suggest you go back part time at first. My work were adamant that I do part time, so I did something like this
Week 1 - two half days
Week 2 - two three quarter days
Week 3 - three half ish days
Week 4 - three three quarter days
Week 5 - three full days

I was whacked after the three full days and was struggling with the thought of doing more but my doc suggested (and work agreed) to do three full days for a further 6-8 weeks which is what I did so I was nearly 3 months part time.

I work a four day week using parental leave for the 5th day so when I moved up to four days some three months after returning to work, I was able for it.

As my children are so small, I do have days when I think that maybe I should not work and be with them especially with all I have faced (life / death and all that) but I think I am a better mammy working a four day week and devoting myself to them for the three other days. They go to a great childminder for three days and my parents take them for a half day with my husband minding them from lunchtime on the days my folks have them.

If you have the option and can afford to work part time, that would be a great comprise for work / life balance.

Let us know what you decide to do.

LindyLu

Hi Lindylu,

Thanks a million for all the advice, i will keep you informed definitely,
just waiting for work to get back on to me, and waiting for them to
set up a meeting with my manager and we will iron out everything then.

Thanks again, its good to know people are out there and routing for me.
Take care and mind urself, stay cosy,

Hugs to you always,

Huggybear xx

Hi guys,

I have a slightly different question regarding work and BC. I took a decision shortly after diagnosis, on instinct and also the advice of a friend whose wife had cancer too NOT to tell people I work with, except for a few close colleagues.

Brilliant friends and family are totally in the loop though.

Anyway, ours is a competitive industry and they'd have me dead and buried I felt. Friends agreed. And stories grow legs, you know 'did ya hear so and so is on the way out etcetc'

I work for myself but I also am employed by a large institution. I meet many people, and I suppose it's fair to say I know a fair lot of folk at this point.

Chemo next month-ish starts. I'm beginning to think it's going to be utterly impossible to continue like this what with having no eyebrows (presuming I won't) and a sudden strange new haircut (!) and being mysteriously absent a fair bit.

(Initially I had intended to embrace it publicly like Kylie (well, I'm no Kylie), but most close colleaugues who do know me and know the industry feel I'm right.

Also have two new contracts (not possible to postpone, oh no, this is the recession dahlings) with completely new clients, one of whom would be, I think very nervous, were they to know.

Is anyone else in this situation?

On the other hand, it's my affair, my privacy, and if I can do/delegate the job well enough AND I get better, I suppose that's good enough. Hmm, may have answered my own dilemma.

Still, is there anyone out there who is in this place, and what are you doing?

My circumstances were quite different to yours in that I was on maternity leave when I was diagnosed. With a baby and a toddler I opted not to go back to work and go from mat leave to sick leave. To be honest I don't think I could have coped with work as well as family and treatment. However it would be possible to go about your work with few clients ever knowing.

Sort out your wig and your hair in advance. Honestly my wig was better than my hair. I often got comments from people who did not know about my treatment asking if I had just got my hair done. I always just said "yes, yesterday, do you like the colour". The eyebrows tend to go towards the end of your treatment but there are ways to draw in brows. Go to any make up counter in a good department store, tell them you are on medication that causes hair loss and could they show you how to do your brows. Most will help.

The only thing that is really going to get you is the tiredness and the lack of concentration which is probably related to the tiredness. Most people can actually manage the nausea with medication.

So long answer is to go with your instincts and tell those you need to.

Best of luck

Oh and I forgot to add that when I returned to work with my short cropped hair, I explained to my clients (I work in a big organization) that i was on extended mat leave which was kinda true but a very fat lie as well.

Cheers Lindylu!

It's so darn hard all this 'what if' stuff. God only knows what chemo will be like, never mind all the rest after, pills, menopause, infertility.

Having a bad day!
but i do have good ones, as my fella keeps reminding me..
Thanks you so much for replying , it all helps!

Hi there Ephemere,

I think that going with your instincts is the best you can do. You may sail through chemo with very little time off. I know someone who worked all the way through chemo and RT (but she was in a job where it was possible just to show her face and then hide away if she needed to!). However she would admit now that there were days when she prob should have gone home to rest. So maybe arranging a day off here and there and timing your chemo infusions near weekends could help you get through it.

One thing to bear in mind is that occasionally some people still have really have a hard time on chemo. A relative of mine had to be hospitalised and isolated several times because her neutrophil count plummeted. All you can do is make your plans and be prepared to adapt them if you need to.

Good luck. And keep posting to let us know how you are getting on.

Flo.

Thanks Flo,

Sensible advice, much needed. Has suddenly dawned on what seems to be an increasingly dumb brain of mine that I haven't really worked anyway for two and a half weeks following my axillary clearance (recovery oddly slow), so I'm beginning to get the whole cancer-and-working picture.

Tbh it's all a bit crap right now what with having to accept infertility (I have no children- and now I won't given the timing of my cancer and my age, 44.5), menopause, scary chemo on top of the diagnosis and the two surgeries (have pain and poor arm mobility). I know it's small stuff compared to others but it is damn hard all the same. Anyway, am off to see counsellor this afternoon, so should improve by sharing.

Thank you for being there, and for taking time to post.

And I'm really sorry about your own situation, I've noticed it a few times; I do hope the infections clear up soon- you seem to be due a break!

hi ladies,

i do not log in often but just thought i would share my thoughts, Ephemere when do you get your treatment plan? its very hard to keep cancer secret until you know what the treatment will be, Radition is every day for around 7 weeks if you need it, it only takes a few mins but times vary, chemo is very hard and can be quite nauseaus, you also cant lift anything too heavy on your affected side until it settles down and even then you have to be careful, no driving for six weeks aft surgery, the wig is a close match to your own hair and eye brow pencils does a very good job on the brows, the eyelashes i wd avoid false ones as your eyes are very sensitive as there is nothing to keep debris out of them, they look a bit red rimmed but only yourself notices unless you point it out.

some days you will not have the inclination to eat, walk or do anything, esp with being thrown into menopause with night sweats, bone pain, and did i mention irritability, i am sorry that you feel so sad re being childless at diagnosis, did i read your age right at 44.5 years? in women without treatment of any kind menopause is considered natural from 45 upwards, early from 40 to 45 and premature before the age of 40. so the likelihood is that you will be in permanent menopause after treatment as they will put you on hormone suppressants for five years but try not to focus on that, book a holiday or something like that for a years time so that you have something to look forward to and focus on during this crap time.

i do think if you will need all types of treatment that working full time is impossible and not telling will give a worse impression as they will think you are slacking off, if i was even going out during treatment i needed a nap in the afternoon, but everyone is different. i only worked part time while on chemo 3 days a week, coming in a bit later.

best of luck, you are one strong woman and should sail through it please god.

Feeling much better after counselling and intend to continue, climbing, as we agreed, this huge mountain one little bit at a time. The whole thing is too much to handle all at once, for anyone.

I've been trying to convince other cancer-newbies I've met to seek counselling too, and I'd totally endorse that again in case there's anyone else out there who is wavering. It really helps to share the burden a bit.

(Though keeping things close and private will work for some, I respect that).

I'll see how it goes work-wise. There are enough people in the loop to deal with any fears of slacking off and all of that; it's more the fear of the unknown I suppose. But sure that's the territory I'm/we are all in, that's what a lot of the cancer-story is.

My last thought for today is that, it would improve things a lot if we were given he whole total crap set of possibles on day one. Having had a drip feed of shock (more surgery!)(lymphodoema!, we are very outdoors folk)(infertility!)(menopause!) every few days/weeks hasn't helped. I think we/I could have faced it a bit better if we hadn't kept getting knocked down repeatedly with new news. Also, oddly, we didn't find the Irish Cancer Society booklets til about 5 weeks into the diagnosis- that too would have helped (they are not obvious on the website) as we spent weeks trying to piece together information and understand stuff like what 'metastasize' means, what it really means.

Wondering what other surprises there are. But resolving to take it in steps.

Thanks all....!

Oh and I'm expecting 6 chemo sessions guessing AC and Taxol and then 5 years Tamoxifen, with a nice course of 5 weeks radiation in between. But waiting to meet onc next week.

It'll take more than a feckin' (is that a profanity?) holiday to compensate for all of this!