Supporting parents and trying to remain calm
My Dad has been undergoing treatment for prostate cancer about 15 years. My Mam had a lumpectomy for breast cancer in Jun 2021. Mam has since been taking hormones after radiotherapy and is quite well. My Dad has just found out his cancer is now "advanced" and requires chemo to hopefully prevent further metastasis. Understandably they are both reeling from the news, but I am caught in the middle and find it utterly draining being mediator and loving daughter. My Mam rings me to rant daily, Dad is on lots of other meds and has become very confused - she is convinced he has dementia but he has refused tests for that. Mam has refused to join any support groups and despite repeatedly asking her to talk to a friend or join a group and being straight with her about how difficult it is to listen to her ranting about his latest infractions she cannot hear me. I'm posting here because I want to find out if others have experienced similar, seek assistance with how to remain the loving daughter while managing their affairs and how to stay calm and impartial. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
Comments
Dear ‘ohjustpeachy’
Thank you for posting your message on our online community. I am so sorry to hear of the distress this is causing you.
You certainly could call into one of our Daffodil Centres and speak to our cancer nurse there about this. They like us here on the Support Line would very much like to support you at this time. We can also discuss counselling with you. I do appreciate that you have said that your mother does not want counselling at this time. However it may be so beneficial in helping you at a time like this . It is very much there for a family member also. Counselling is available in your local cancer support centre or through our support line. For further information about counselling see here
In your post you mentioned that your Dad is confused at the moment. There are a number of reasons this could be happening and we would suggest this is brought to the attention of his medical team and /or GP. Do phone us if you would like to discuss any of this.
I do hope we will hear from you. Our number is 1800 200 700 and we are all cancer nurses here Mon-Fri 9-5pm.
Kind regards
Cancer Nurse
Hi Ohjustpeachy
Sorry to hear about your parents and that you are caught in the middle of them both and finding it hard.
I suggest that you contact your local Daffodil Centre to talk to one of their volunteers about your situation the centres are not only for people with Cancer.
Hope this helps.
Best wishes
Jenni53