Telling my adult children their Dad is dying
My husband's cancer is very aggressive and told today now in brain. Diagnosed 10 weks ago. If lucky only weeks left. We expectation of chemotherapy helping and extending life. Not an option now . I'm reeling myself and don't know how to tell them
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Dear Mollie1995,
Thank you for sharing your story.
I was diagnosed with a terminal cancer recently.
I have a teenage son and finding hard as well to tell him the whole truth about my diagnosis.
And it's not because I'm afraid, it's because I don't believe myself that there is nothing that can be done.
Personally, we told our son that about my cancer and that I need to go through some treatments.
He is aware that things can go in good way or bad way, but I just wanted to reassure him that I'll do all my best to win this fight.
I think we have to be honest with kids, but we have to reassure them that we will try, that we are not giving up.
That's only my personal opinion as a cancer patient, but I'm sure you can get some professional support from Medical Social Worker.
Dear Mollie1995,
Thank you for posting on our online forum. I am so sorry to read about your husband’s cancer diagnosis and his prognosis. This must be a very difficult time for you and all your family. I do hope you are doing ok and getting support during this time.
It can be difficult to know what to tell children, regardless of their age. A diagnosis of metastatic cancer can make this even harder. Your natural reaction is to protect your children, so you may be tempted to say that everything will be fine. But in the long run, it is best to be honest. It is upsetting trying to prepare your children, especially as you are also dealing with your own emotions around your husband’s diagnosis, so try to be kind to yourself.
If you haven’t already been in contact with the social worker in the hospital, we would recommend that you contact them, as they may be able to support and guide you.
I am attaching the link here to the Irish Hospice Foundation bereavement page. There is a lot of information on their site, as well as a phone line that you may find helpful.
If you would like to speak to one of our cancer nurses about this or for some support during this difficult time, please don’t hesitate to call our Support Line on 1800 200 700, Monday-Friday, from 0900-1700.
Kind regards,
Cancer Nurse