early days

Hi Hugs, best of luck today, I really hope they come back with clear margins for you.Fingers crossed xx. I haven't been posting a lot lately, still doing my radiotherapy everyday which has me tired at this stage...coming to the end, I have 5 sessions to go!!! Can't wait to be finished!Might one day have 2 normal looking breasts again lol!!!

Hi Hugs,

Hopefully you are out of surgery by now and not too uncomfortable. Good luck with the results hopefully all clear this time. Look forward to seeing you back online soon.

Best Wishes
A

I had the op at 10.30 this morning, thank god it was early!!!!
I left the hospital at 4.30pm, and went to my sisters for a coffee. then on the way home I popped into tesco and picked up a few bits. So you can say it went well

Im a little sore, but dont feel too bad at all
So avalanche, is this soon enough for me to be back online

I asked about the results of the skull xray. It came back clear, so they are sending me for a ct scan on my head. Now im worried They have said they are 'pretty sure' its not cancer, and not to worry, but i cant help it.

summerbreeze, it must be good to be so close to the end of your journey! I hope the rest of the time flies in for you xxx

Wow Hugs!

Well done. Make sure you don't over do it and get the rest you need to heal. Hopefully the CT will be fine and the Docs are just being cautious. All sorts of harmless abnormalities are found when they start to scan us just to add to the worry!

Have a good nights sleep.

All the best
A

Oh Hugs,
delighted you broke free, its a great feeling, think we all recover much better at home. Take it easy on yourself now. Dont be worrying about the scan, sure it will be fine.
Enjoy some treats.
Celine

Hi Hugs...that's great..another part of the journey over!!Glad you're home from hospital and not feeling too bad. I know it's so annoying when they start looking at something else isn't it? You just want to scream I have enough on my mind!!! I got so sick of all the tests at times, sometimes I got so angry about it..but when I think about it , it's good they kind of 'take over' and tell you what needs to be done ( I know if it was left to me at times I would have run away!!!). Try not to worry, they are just being careful.

Hi Hugs
Like the others i am delighted all went well for you. Spoil yourself now for a while. as for the scans sure people would pay thousands for the treatment we're getting A full once over sure if anything goes wrong with any of us it will be picked up almost before it happens.

Evelyn x x

I agree with you evelyn, ive been asking for extra tests...lol
My mum had ovarian cancer when she was 32, and my aunt had breast cancer when she was in her 30's aswell.. So Ive asked to have my ovaries checked.
Its a different department, so i have to be referred....but at least I will have the tests.

Im trying not to worry about my brain....if they can find it
Im hoping they do a cat scan on my whole body...just to check it

Im off with my little fella today to an easter egg hunt.
I feel fine, and find it hard to believe the op was only on tuesday.
Its just unfortunate that im probably going to have to go in again in 2 weeks for a mastectomy (im not holding out much hope for clear margins )

Happy easter to you all.
Audrey xxx

Hi Audrey

hope you enjoyed your egg hunt. Again put the fears about whats gonna happen back into that box till the time comes or else I will get annoyed with you

Evelyn

Thanks evelyn, thats the slap in the head I needed, thanks

Im still feeling ok. I have seroma again, but Im not worried. The last time I went to the doc with fluid, he said it only needed to be drained if it was a problem. Im going to wait and see, but I recon it will be ok.

The egg hunt was lovely, not too far away so driving was ok, and it was nice to do something 'normal'.

Happy easter

Hi Hugs
Hope that slap on the hand did not sting too much

The fluid build up is a pain in the butt. I had it drained about 4 times I think and the relief as they drain it is great. It was the travelling to Dublin for a few mins procedure that got to me. I live about hour to hour and a half (depending on traffic) from dublin.

Countdown to my results is on, and Wednesday afternoon cannot come fast enough. I feel good and in my sane moments know they will be ok. Then my brain switches and I dread what I hear. Did I say a few weeks ago I felt brave ???? erase that I am now a whimp and a fat bald one at that The only thing is I am not crying yet and generally the mood is good

Hi to everyone, Evelyn

Glad to hear youre feeling fairly ok. Only 2 more days to go till wednesday for you. I have till monday....the wait is such a pain!!!!
My youngest is making his communion on the 1st of may, I really want to be ok for that day.

The fluid isnt too uncomfortable. I have a pretty busy couple of days, so im not going to get it drained unless I absolutely have to! Im torn between getting it done and it coming back, or just leaving it and hoping it doesnt get worse (which it doesnt seem to be)

Is it vincents hosp you are attending?
Im in the mater. Its just over an hour depending on traffic, but the parking is a nightmare!!!

I dont know what it is today, i kept checking in here to see if anyone had posted. I think i just needed to connect with someone.

I do go onto the english forums and the american one aswell. I like to read the posts, but its always nice reading stuff from someone in your own country.

Oh and big lol's at the "I am now a whimp, and a fat bald one at that"
Thats going to be me shortly

Hi Hugs & Evelyn,

Hang in there you are both doing great! The waiting game is crap so just try and keep busy to distract yourselfs. The fluid build up is a pain. See how you go if it is uncomfortable or getting larger do get it drained. If it is not getting bigger or uncomfortable as you say is a bit of a pain driving to the hospital and parking. I had the same problem after my sentinel node biopsy and had drained a few times but after a while the Docs advised to leave alone. They advised no risk if just a little fluid there it will reabsorb in time.

It was a lovely sunny weekend hope you managed to enjoy. Shame back to rain again!

Right must get back to my work. Can't resist peeking on here occasionaly to see who is online, will get the sack!

Best Wishes
M

Hi everyone

Yes I am the mater also, they are so good there cannot do enough for people. This time tomorrow I will know the best/worst but at least I will know. Will be thinking about you until you get results on Monday. Please God (if you are religious) we will both come out smiling

I know it's the communion that you want to be well for. My daughter had her graduation during my chemo and I was dreading it. Herself my son and myself booked into the Skylon hotel the night before it's beside the college. I had a great night's sleep. did not have to get up too early (to travel) had breakfast and walked to the college. We then left and had a nice lunch in Ardee on the way home. All in all we had a great day and it did not take too much out of me.
Evelyn

Hi Evelyn,
Just hoping today went well for you,
Sending you positive thoughts,
Celine

Hi Hugs
Just thought I'd pop in and say hi, I know you are hanging in there til Monday, I think you're great!!I did my last radiotherapy session this morn and am celebrating this eve, so I wanted to say to you that the end of all this will come..even though at times it can feel so far away!!Keep posting x

Thanks summerbreeze. I got a call from the breastcare nurse today. She told me my appointment has changed to wednesday. I got a fright because I thought there was something wrong, but she said it was just that the doctor wasnt going to be in on monday. So two extra days to wait for results

I asked her if she knew the results, but she said they wernt back till monday. So I asked her if she could ring me with them (i just want to know if they got clear margins...lol), but she said it would be best to wait till wed to get the whole results and their plan (which I understand).

I asked her a couple of questions about the lump, and dcis. Im just a bit confused about a couple of things. She said she would get the doctor to go through them throughly with me.

She rang me back about ten mins later to see if i was ok. I was in convulsions of tears at this stage. I dont know why. Im not afraid or worried. I suppose its part of the journey.

Anyway, she had a look at my file and reassured me that it was only the dcis that they were 'chasing' and nothing more sinister. the 'cancer lump' was gone and had been taken out in the first op.

So Im a lot more relieved, but still raging that i have to wait till wednesday

Im still a bit teary, and feel absolutely exhausted. Im sure Ill perk up though

Hi Hugs

So glad the nurse rang you back and your results seem very good, in that they appear to have got all the cancer. Pity now you have to wait till Wednesday to hear the "offical line" from doctor. Tiredness has hit me big time since yesterday, think it's the relief and the worry of the last 11 mths.

Hang in there and remember the song "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to". A good cry clears the head, but not all the time or I will have to slap your wrist again

Evelyn x x

Sorry hugs,
Looks like I got my posts all mixed up again (chemohead!, sure isnt it great to be able to blame that on everything - no dinner made? ah sure its the chemo God love her ha ha).

So sorry you have to wait till Wednesday, thank God the BC nurse rang you back. The results sound good, nothing sinister so focus on that.
Take care,
Celine

I cant wait to be able to use the chemo brain excuse, ill really enjoy that....lol.
Im a bit teary today on and off. I was out in the afternoon with my sis and she was great, not one bit phased by it at all, despite the fact that we were in liffey valley having a coffee and a lovely chat It came out of nowhere and i was a blubbering wreck. She just said let it out, dont be embarrassed.
I probably need to let it out a bit more than i do (im the healthy one in our house..i need to keep it together..etc) So im going to allow myself the odd boo hoo, but not too many or evelyn will be after me

Thinking of you today Hugs, hope it all went well?
Celine

The results are tomorrow...so my nails have been bitten down to nothing. I figure its no harm as theyre probably going to fall off anyway

I really hope they got clear margins

Hi Hugs,

Nearly there now so hang in there. Everything crossed for some good news. Have a glass of wine tonight and hopefully will help you sleep.

Best of luck
A x

ohhhh wine sounds like a great idea. I had a glass last night, but definately deserve another tonight.

Im a bit sore today. I hope im not getting an infection. Its an odd feeling on my chest near my shoulder (if that makes any sense). Its weird because its sore to touch and a bit achy. I dont know if it should still be sore after 2 weeks. I dont seem to have any fluid thank god. I suppose i can get it checked tomorrow.

Hi Hugs,

Hopefully the shoulder is nothing to worry about. Very common to have shoulder pain after any breast surgery due to change in posture and reduced movement as you try to protect healing wounds or are a bit stiff. Can be weeks or months after surgery.

But do ask about tomorrow to get reassurance. They may advise you on some more stretching exercises to do.

Enjoy the wine

Reread and pain chest/near shoulder. Still 2 weeks is very early days so bound to be tender. Remember they took a lump out not just a minor procedure and I expect you have been running around rather than lazing in a recliner

Same advise get them to check out. Might as well make the most use of your clinic time

You could be right there Avalanche Im a bit stupid sometimes when it comes to taking it easy. Although to be honest I have been taking things a lot easier than i normally would. Im really tired, and convinced myself it was because I was lazing around.
Im still in egypt (denial as in the river nile) as my sister says. I say it but i dont believe it
This time tomorrow, I will know whats next. I just want to be doing something, I hate this waiting around!

My dh thinks im mad, i cant wait until i start the chemo....i just want to get it done

Hi Hugs
I have not been on for a couple of days BUT you have been on my mind and I said a prayer for you. I still have aches and pains and my surgery was last August so dont push yourself too hard.Trust me the housework will be handed back to you quick enough
Dont worry about the nails because as you say the chemo can make them fall off anyway, mine are falling off as I speak They dont hurt so thats the main thing. I am only losing toe nails but the finger nails are ragged.
Will be thinking of you tomorrow and really hope you get good news.
Love Evelyn x x x

Hi Hugs
Thinking of you going in today, good luck, at least it's the end of the waiting. Take care x

Hi Hugs
Hope you got good news today. Was thinking about you all day.
Evelyn x x x

Hi Hugs,

Hope you are ok, that your appt went well and you have a clear plan ahead now.

I expect it has been a tough day. Appt days always rough on the nerves

Best Wishes
A x

Hi Hugs,
Hope all ok there,
Celine

Thanks for the good wishes, but it was as I expected. Im booked in for the 5th of may for a mastectomy
They didnt get any where near clear margins. There was extensive dcis in the whole sample.

I dont feel too bad about it at the moment (of course i wish it wasnt happening).

I asked about getting a reconstruction at the same time, and what type of recon there is.

I like the sound of the one where they take the fat/muscle from your stomach and use that (i have lots to spare...lol)

Im going to do plenty of research though.
They did say that i could have the recon at the same time, but it would be a nine hour op (the one i want), longer recovery, and if there are any complications it could delay chemo. Also i could be in hospital for 14 days (not a good option)

So i have some serious decisions to make. Any advice, or any success/failures stories that you could pass on to me.

Im absolutely exhausted, i feel as if ive been dragged through the mud backwards
Ill be back on tomorrow im sure...lol

Aw Hugs,

I'm so sorry. It's crap loosing your breast I howled over mine but then you get into survival mode again. Yes do your research about recon as is so important. I regret my implants so would not advise that route for many reasons. My plastic surgeon told me the gold standard is the stomach surgery for good long term results and can avoid using muscle but yes is major surgery with complication risks. I have insufficent fat to use. Disadvantage of being slim Maybe some women will come online to advise about that type of surgery. The other option is using back muscle which is still major but lower complication risk and slightly quicker recovery.

I won't go on too much as I'm sure your head is spinning today. I expect the breast care nurses and plastic surgeons will give you a lot of information regarding all the options.

Thinking of you
A x

Im not too bad at all to be honest. I actually feel a bit relieved.
I had wanted to have a mastectomy from the beginning, I was just so afriaid it would come back. Not only that, the radiotherapy terrified me more than anything else because of the possible side effects. But im not going to need radiotherapy now, so that is a plus.

I have decided to wait for the recon rather than have it at the same time. I know it means two surgeries, but there is more chance of it failing if its done as the same time as the mastectomy. Also chemo might be later starting if I go for the whole lot in one go.

I havent freaked out yet, but im sure i will at some stage...lol

Hi Hugs
Well think you expected that result and I am sorry you have to go through it. Look on the positive side the "little allien" will be gone and thats what we all want. When I have the padded prostisis in the bra noone knows the difference. I had the expander put in at the time of surgery now that the chemo is finished they will be filling it with saline to stretch the skin, this means I will be having the reconstruction at a further date. I felt this was my best option.
If you look back on my posts Flo sent me a great list of things to bring into hospital with me and it was great.
No doubt you wrecked physically and mentally so relax chill out and have a glass of wine
evelyn x x x

Hugs,
So sorry that you are having to go thru all this, its cr#p isnt it? You sound very composed and confident with your decision, good for you. I don't know much about the recon so can't offer any advice there. Great that you dont have to have the radiotherapy though eh?
Keep strong,
Celine

Hi Hugs

I'm sorry you got bad news, the sooner we find the answers to this horrible disease the better. I'm buying pink bottles, charms..you name it all in support of the cause!!! Stay strong x

Hi Hugs,

If the time is right on here you have been up very early. Hope you are doing ok and still maintaining your sanity

I am going to see a plastic surgeon at the Mater next Wed for a second opinion after all the good reviews I've heard.

Looks like we are getting some more sunny weather so hope you are able to get out and enjoy.

A x

Im delighted youre going to the mater to have a chat with them. Hopefully it will be up from here

Im still feeling pretty ok. Im trying to 'put it behind me' as much as possible for the next couple of weeks, and concentrate on the kids and house while I can. Im going to try to get some spring cleaning done, well as much as i can without over doing it.

I was a bit worried that i hade made the wrong decision about delaying reconstruction, but Ive been researching it and im definately better waiting until the chemo is done, and i recover a bit.

Its a fab day today, i just love the sun!! It makes things so much brighter

Hi Hugs,

Yes I'm really pleased to be getting a second opinion now. All thanks to knowledge through this forum!

I'm glad you are coping as well as you can keeping busy. It is so difficult deciding about when and what type of recon to have. Obviously getting rid of the cancer is the priority but in time appearance and comfort is important too. You know what is right for you and you have some time before surgery to discuss options with the breast nurses and to see a plastic surgeon to plan for the future.

Certainly the sun makes us all happier no matter the circumstances. I am off to see my friend with lung cancer now who unfortunately has to have more chemo. She is inspiring though as trys to be so cheerful. Not moaney like me

Have a good weekend.

A x

Hang on in there, am thinking of you. Keep strong and do what you have to do to 'get rid'. Sorry I can't help you re mastec. but I do have two friends in the last year had the op.. they both well, one going for recon this summer, next not bothering to.. both are in great form & moving on. simple things like keeping care of yourself, like even wear your fav clothes & wear a bit of make up can make you feel less down. Try to keep things here & now & one step at a time.... mindfulness !!! :@) and don't forget no therapy better than a good laugh so.. get the girls round, watch a comedy, bottle of wine, whatever it takes !!

Hi Hugs
This weather has me moving furniture around and trying to change the appearance of the house without spending money I have my son moving things then changing my mind and he has to move it back I have him driven mad he will be glad to get back to college tomorrow.
Prior to my mastectomy i was not going to bother with re construction however the consultant and breast nurse advised me to think it over as I was still young their words (I am 49). When the time comes he will arrange for me to meet with one of his patients who had it done.

Chat soon Evelyn x x

Hi all. Hope youre keping well!
Evelyn have you stopped moving your furniture...or should I say have to stopped bossing your son around
Michl I have been laughing as much as I can these days. I was away for the weeking with a bunch of girls, and it was great. It was a bit of a bye bye boobie party....lol
My little guys communion is on saturday. Im just sorted for it. Then its my dh birthday on monday, and into the hospital on tuesday. So its going to be an eventful week to say the least

Im obviously not going to make the arc house meeting on the 10th, but i will be at the one after that.

The board is gone a bit quiet....we have to boost it up again

Hi Hugs

I hope you had a lovely day yesterday at your son's communion, enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Hi Hugs
No doubt you are recovering from yesterday and the lead up to it, and dreading Tuesday a little. In saying that I think you are a lot stronger than you where when you came onto the site first.
evelyn x x

Hi Hugs,

Thinking of you and hoping you had a good weekend and are doing ok.
I hope your surgery goes smoothly and your recovery is quick and uncomplicated. Just make sure to let everyone look after you for a change for a while anyhow

One step more forwards destroying the beast

All the best
A x

Hi everyone. The communion went great at the weekend, the sun was shining for the important parts.

Unfortunately the op didnt go ahead today. I rang the hospital yesterday at 5 to see what time i was to go in only to be told that I wasnt down on the list for today. I was devestated. Nobody bothered to ring me to tell me. I was all set to go in today. Its like a military operation here to get me organised, I have 2 kids with special needs. My sister had come back early from her holidays to help out.

I have cried constantly since yesterday. I know its only another week but I feel really let down. Another week now of not being able to sleep. I have taken everything for the last 3 and a half months with good spirits. I have been as positive as I could possibly be. But i feel defeated today.

Hi Hugs,

I'm so sorry to hear that. It is the pits. I hope you gave them hell! Could they not fit you in another day this week after all your planning? Perhaps your sister could ring and ask this as I expect you are too upset to be fighting your corner.

Another week is not long in normal circumstances but in this situation when you are all ready is never ending.

Thinking of you and hang in there.

A x