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i thought id start a new thread here for anyone who has lost a loved one. once they are gone the family tend to be forgotten to get on with things and [for many of us me included] we are not ready to forget the person who passed away. so i thought it would be a place to write down how we feel or just to talk to others in the same situation. i really hope anyone in this position will take advantage of this thread and maybe help someone else as well................ anyway, i will start the thread by saying, i lost my dad to cancer of the oesophagus on 25 sept 2008. i still cry a lot as he and i were very close. he was the best dad a girl could wish for [in my eyes] and he died not knowing he was going to be a great grandad. i feel cheated that he was taken from me the way he was, he was 73 and i always expected him to die of old age and without pain and suffering. i just celebrated my 40th birthday yesterday and it was awful that he wasnt here, but he couldnt hold on and i wouldnt have wanted him to try. anyway that about sums up my story so please feel free to put your stories here and hopefully there will be a little comfort in knowing there are others like you out there. thankyou all for reading this and [hopefully] putting your own stories here too. trisha.

The Irish Cancer Societyonline community is a welcoming and supportive place where people affected by cancer and those close to them can find information and support, ask questions and share information or personal experiences of their cancer. To help keep this community an inclusive and safe place for active and supportive discussion, we ask that all of our users follow these simple guidelines. Our community forum guidelines  Who can join the discussion? Who can register? The forum is aimed at anyone who is affected by cancer. However, other people may register too, as long as your posts remain relevant to the issues. For the protection and safety of children, this forum does not support members under the age of 18. Using the forum We ask users to be kind and respectful to others Be supportive and kind to each other - Many people sharing on the forum are going through difficult times. A few words of kindness can be very helpful and supportive. 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All for you Take my strength, lean on me. Use it to be as strong, as your fight needs to be. Take my smile, that I force upon my face. Made helpless by the fact, I have no way to take your place. Take my sense of humor, take as much as you can. Laughing at what life throws at you, is really your best plan. Lastly, take my love for you, take extra, and put it in your heart on a shelf. For the days that lie ahead when you can't gather the courage to love yourself. I love you.

If anyone is awaiting Radiotherapy... I suggest you start taking MOR EPA (Omega 3) fish oils. If you eat oily fish at least 3-4 times a week, you won't need to take them as a supplement, you should be getting enough. They really helped me through my Radiotherapy as I didn't experience the tiredness nor the break down of my skin as was suggested might happen. I went on them and Vitamin D3 at end of September and started Radiotherapy on Nov 14th. I am studying Nutritional Therapy and am 100% convinced that taking them helped me to have 33 rather "uneventful" radiotherapy sessions. Best of luck to you all on your journeys. Happy New Year filled with health, happiness and positivity.

i need advice, i dont know how to cope with my friends diagnosis, hes 22 with lung cancer, and wont tell anyone not his family even, he confided in me. i dont want to betray his trust but hes not coping hes trying to drink his troubles away. he wont talk about it, or tell me any real information without knowing anything i cant find out anything, i dont know his prognosis, how sick hes going to get, it its treatable, nothing.. im afraid the worst will happen and id have known and not told his family i cant cope with my grief and his, that sounds selfish but its true. please tell me what i should do...

Hi Girls Am a lurker here and post infrequently however I did use this board a little when I was first diagnosed in Dec08. I met (virtually and in real life) two wonderful ladies soon after my diagnosis - we were all being treated in Beaumont. One girl, Linda (she used Linda on this board) had been diagnosed in 2006 but reoccured in Nov 2008 in the nodes and shortly afterwards was diagnosed with lung mets. I kept in intermittant contact with her during my treatment but realised yesterday that I had not heard from her in months. I decided to google her full name and a sport I knew she was passionate about. What popped up in the results shocked me. It was a reference to a memorial service from the sports club she was a member of. She had passed last Dec 2009. She would have been about 36. I cannot believe she is gone and I am so sad for her husband and family. When I met her in real life she gave be some head scarves and other stuff to help me on my chemo journey. I guess we all have to live and enjoy life and hug those close to us even tighter today! LindyLu

Hi, I had a baby in May 2009. I had a smear test in Dec 2009 (CIN 1). I had a repeat smear in June 2010 (no longer CIN 1 but still boarderline abnormalities). I have a colposcopy appointment for Nov 2010. I am trying to have a 2nd baby. I have a history of vaginismus and have difficulty tolerating smears. I think I will need to get a valium or similar to tolerate colposcopy. So I am unsure what to do - should I pursue the colposcopy sooner than nov. privately so I can take valium and then resume trying to get pregnant. Or should I go with Nov. appointment and if I get pregnant before that is there a drug I can take to relax me that isnt harmful to the baby. I dont want to put off trying to get pregnant as Im nearly 40. Id appreciate advice. Thanks

Hello everyone. This is Elizabeth. I used to correspond but then I got depressed and stopped. I remember Hugs and Summer Breeze and Evelyn and I will catch up on all your posts now. I hope you are all well. I had a mastectomy three weeks ago and have to have more chemo and radiotherapy and then hormone treatment. the troube is I spoke to the oncologist last week and he said I have a high chance of recurrant cancer - 40%. I am in a state of terror since and feel ill. Has anyone any tips for coping? The thought of the next few years, getting scans and waiting for results and then maybe more treatment which might not work is more than I can bear. With best wishes to all. Elizabeth

My poor mam has terminal lung cancer and although the tumour has stablised, she is in awful awful pain and her pain relief is not working. She is at home on her own (she wont let me move in with her) and the doctors are not really doing anything to help other than prescribe the tablets. I am at my wits end because she can basically lead an normal life without the pain but is crippled with this. Does anyone know of what to do? Her next appointment with Lukes is in October but this is too far away. Please help or offer advice. Thank you.

Hi ladies, I'm due to get a bilateral mastectomy soon and have had a lumpectomy and radiotherapy to one breast last year. I'm BRCA 1 positive. Can anyone let me know what options they considered and if anyone could give me any info on the type of reconstruction they got, I'd be very grateful. An LD has been mentioned to me as the best option so far. I'm in my 30's so still pretty young. Thanks