Devastation again :(

I think the sick pay laws won't affect critical illness, up to the discretion of your boss I think so hopefully we will be ok. No way could you work , mentally and physically you need to look after number one, you are the most important person at the moment. I'm going to contact my local cancer support group when I've finished chemo and take them up on their free massages, reflexology etc. Might sign up for art class or pottery or something. I'm off work and I'm going to make the best of being off work, happy days!!!

My friend asked for prof Crown when she was diagnosed and she got him so fingers crossed. You can tell Janice if you get her that she came highly recommended She is lovely, my husband was mighty impressed with her as she was so clear when explaining everything to us. She's lovely

Oh I'm glad we were of some support to you thats what we are here for and I know you'd give us the same support if needed and don't be worrying about your hair, welcome your new found baldness, it means you are in our elite club!!!

I don't think I will be fully finished until next year either as I'm on Her-ceptin till next September.

Hiya!!
Home from school! Great distraction! Hope everyone's day went ok.
Tomorrow hopefully we fasten down a day for recovery to begin. I am trying not to look at it as mutilation/ and horror. This us essentially saving my life, but I just really want to get a move on with it

I was thinking of the timescale today....god almighty, it seems like such a mountain! If I start surgery next week that would bring me to chemo on dec 27. Do they do that over the Xmas period??? If so ho ho ho!!!!
All in all radiation will finish June 20/27. And even then I have to wait 6 months for the diep recon. Has anyone else out there managed to get it quicker????( just a fantasy in my head....)

Ah, I'm wandering and talking crap again, so before I loose any upbeatness, am gonna head out for a walk (while I can!!!!!!)

Take care
Xx

My day was good I bought a deal on the computer to record a song in a recording studios in Dublin, so went with a friend to do that today and so enjoyed it that I recorded two songs. I'm doing things now that I always 'meant to do' before I got cancer, amazing. Enough about me.

You sound positive today which is great. I do think you need to get away from the time it's going to take. You need to slow down and don't look so far into the future, take one day at a time, and get over each hurdle one at a time. They only do chemo Monday to Friday and the day will be determined by the oncologist you get. Janice apparently does Mondays. My last one is Christmas Eve.

On your boobs, do you want to have two boobs with the risk of dying or do you want to get rid of the damn thing and live life to the full? You need to try and I know it's not easy but you need to accept life with one boob while you are waiting for reconstruction and don't try to rush it as you're only going to stress yourself and you don't need stress.

Who says you won't be able to walk again?? I've been walking since I felt better last week.

Positivity all the way, no negativity, I've stopped looking at the news and current affairs while I'm having treatment, it's all too negative. If you can pick up a book called "Not the year you had planned" it's very good, a friend bought it for me it's by Cathy McCarthy . Well worth a read.

You know what Mary, you're dead right!!

Today's musical extravaganza sounds like great craic!! Are you a singer?? My undergrad in college was in music and I'm keeping up my choir as much as I can in treatment! I just love it and it really takes my mind off things.....

I've always been so active and I LOVE going to the gym, I just want to keep up some physical activity while this is going on....
I'm trying to be good with the diet, but slip up sometimes when it all gets too much.....

On a happier note, I recently finished a masters over the summer and I actually get to graduate on Saturday - it only became apparent when we were sorting out dates yest! I know it will be an emotional day, but also a happy one before recovery kicks off.....

Can you get that book online or is it readily available in the siopas???

Thanks again, and keep on singing!!!

Xx

You should be able to order from that link for €12.99
ashfieldpress.ie/view/?id=33 , but it is available in the shops.

I think yes take one day at a time and cherish and enjoy them, don't be worrying when you will get your reconstruction or when it'll be over that's stressing.

Yes I do sing I have a church folk group which I play guitar for and I love singing and it really helps me when I'm going through this I so enjoyed today and it was so professional and made me sound really good. Keep up your music, do it when you feel well. That's what I do for folk group we only sing at mass when I'm well and my group and the priest are delighted I can do it at all while having chemo.

I went to weight watchers couple of years ago and list two and a half stone and have been feeling great since but I'm not going to start worrying about putting on weight on top of this but please God in the new year I will go back to weight watchers and try and keep on top of it, don't want to be depressed because I'm fat again. You will be able to exercise to some degree, do what your body tells you and you'll know yourself what you are able to do.

Congratulations and you enjoy Saturday this is your day and forget all the other crap that's going on just for the day. Well done.

Ill be here all along the way to help you if I can in any way , you're not on your own xxxx We are all in the same "club" so to speak

I actually lost loads of weight with WW 9 years ago and my gold card us one of my prized possessions!! (sad I know!!!) I just hopexi don't pile on the pounds.....I just have to be super careful!!

I just ordered that book so am looking forward to reading it. I actually find reading and finding out things very very helpful!!

One day at a time and no stress....like the sound of that!!!!

Xx

Yes I have a gold card myself and I really feel good with the weight off but things have gone a bit haywire. I love chocolate and I am rewarding myself as I feel I deserve it!! Ill be good in 2013 when this chemo is out of the way.

You will like the book and I'm picking it up again as I read it before I started chemo. A little tip,, have a pen and paper and jot things down as she recommends things and if it interests you write it down.

One day at a time as Gloria sang back in the 80's lol. It's the only way it gets too much when you go too far ahead. I'm busy this week, friend took me out for lunch yesterday, I was in the recording studio today, might do a bit around the house tomorrow after I have coffee in a neighbours house in the morning, meetin my cousin for a walk and lunch on Thursday, get my bloods done on Friday , hubbie bringing me out for dinner Friday night, my friends are bringing me to Ritz Carlton on Saturday for afternoon tea for my 50th. I do pack in everything into the week I'm feeling well, then it's slow down end of next week after chemo but ill get through it. Just to reassure you there will be a week or more when you can go for it, and plan things for that week it perks you up.

I will certainly bear that in mind, andwill have loads of questions when the chemo starts. Isn't it mad the way some people have chemo first then surgery or vice versa???
I think I'd almost get the chemo over with, but am operation bound some time next week.

Believe me when I'm up to it, I will be taking life by the horns and going for it. It's hard sometimes as I'm living in Wicklow myself and all my family and friends are in Dublin, but in fairness they've been just fantastic since my diagnosis!

I hope the blood tests go well!!!

Xx

Hello ladies,

Just wanted to share the advice I was given a year ago - by several of my doctors, nurses, physios as well as my osteopath - when I started chemo. Be as active as you can be! Whatever sport you can do, do it!

Physical activity apparently lessens the side effects of the chemo, makes the chemo more effective and reduces the risk of reccurrence by something like 50 per cent. Plus it improves morale and depending on what you do, gets you outside in the fresh air and sunshine to build up lots of vitamin D (which also protects against cancer). So many studies have confirmed the benefits of sport during and after treatment.

While it's not the moment to run marathons, it's definitely not the right time to give up on being active either. Do what you can to stay active.

Hugs
Kathleen

PS - whoever thought that I of all people would be encouraging other people to do sport - but I really believe it helped me through the last year, big time

Hiya Kathleen!!

I certainly intend to try to be as active as I can, and after reading your encouraging post, I certainly intend to get out and about! When we were in niketown in London recently I bought some new running gear as a metaphor for- I'm not going to let this slow me down- well too much.......!!!!

Thanks again!

Xx

Yes absolutely although sometimes you don't have the energy to get up from the chair but like I say when the body allows you do it. I broke my leg 4 years ago and I'm finding for the very first time that my leg is paining me and I'm blaming the chemo.

Neadi, you are right. The treatment will take its toll but you can definitely limit the damage. As you say, the thing is to ensure it doesn't slow you down too much! Just do what you can do and listen to your body when it tells you it needs to rest. After your surgery it is important to reduce the risk of blood clots by walking as soon as you can. Do a little more every day.

Wicklow lady, my physio told me only today that chemo does go for your weak areas. Poor you! I hope the pain wears off when you finish your chemo.

Hugs to you all

Kathleen

I'm on it!!!!
Just hope it's all not too bad- we hopefully find out what's happening today and most importantly when!

Thanks again

Xx

Had to take two pain killers this morning for my leg as I wanted to go for a little walk. Another thing on top of everything else and apparently I've the menopause to look forward to as well!!!

Neadi keep us posted you'll be fine it's all going to start today, the road to recovery. Xxxx

Thanks Mary- just getting ready to head out now.....
Hubbie keeps telling me I've nothing to worry about - they've found the worst bits now, but it doesn't stop me from feeling so so nervous!

Enjoy your walk, and I'll keep you posted on the days events.....

Xx

The doctors will look after you no matter what, keep the faith you'll be fine xxxx talk later

Hello there!!!

Next Thursday November 15th is the date my recovery starts...... Let the scary journey begin.....

They are definitely putting in the tissue expander- just to ask, had/ has anybody had experience of this proceedure and what it it like?? I've been told by mr Morrison that it won't be as good as a reconstruction, and that my skin will be all scarred from radiotherapy, and it could be well into 2014 before I get a reconstruction. Now I just feel so peed off. Apart from being alive, which surpasses all pluses, there just seems to be no good news here at all!!??

Anyway still digesting the days events, and hey, I still have 7 days of "normality" left.....

Thanks
Xx

Nov 15th is the start of recovery. I don't have any knowledge I'm afraid I'm reall very new to all this, but someone on here will have the knowledge I don't doubt it. I did tell you to be patient and if its 2014 then you'll cope with that. You will have a normal life, you won't be the same person but I feel I am a better person, different and better. Nobody is perfect, even those with perfect bodies are not perfect, it's more important to be happy with our lot, grateful with our lot and be contended from the inside. I go out with my bandana on I'm comfortable with that and I don't really care if it makes people feel uncomfortable. That's their problem. Don't dwell on the thing that you are not going to be 'normal', what's normal, a woman with abeautiful body but who is a bitch or someone with one breast who is a really really nice genuine caring person, guess which one I'd pick to be my friend.

God, jordan or any of you guys???? No brainer Mary!! Well put!!

It is going to be a long long road, but I know that I have some buddies here on my side, and as I said earlier the two docs are worth their weight in gold!!!!

Recovery here we come.....

Good on you that's the spirit who cares whether you've one breast or two as long as you are cancer free and are happy and going to grab life by the scruff of the neck and live the rest of your life to the full appreciating every minute. This disease puts you in a different place happy with your lot, happy with the small things in life, happy with what God deals you. I lit a candle for you today so that means you are going to be fine. I hope you have facility to keep us posted when you're in hospital. Will you be in for long?

On that long long road you talk about there will be good times too. It won't all be bad. Pamper yourself along the way you deserve it. I feel I have to compensate for this bad hand I've been dealt so I have to balance it out by treating myself. Yes the doctors are marvellous I love them to bits and I know it sounds strange but ill miss them when all this is over , it becomes part of your life

I'm heading in next Thursday and they are operating that day. All going well I should be discharged the following Monday. (here's hoping!)

I'm assured that they will try to have me up and at it ASAP, but I will be keeping you posted!! Isn't it mad that we're vice versa in the treatment stakes- I'm doing this now and what you're doing next....., well hopefully we'll be able to answer each others quests- yours on surgery and mine in chemo!!! I don't light candles very often, but I say a little prayer for you and dee- the three musketeers going into battle together!!! I'll tell you!! We'll have one HUGE bottle of wine when this us over- feck the pro points!!

Xx

Oh great that'll be one hurdle over with. Yes it is strange the way everyone is different. Oh I can tell you anything you want to know about chemo. The weekend you're in hospital will be my "bad" weekend so the postings should be good that weekend !!!

I never used to light many candles but I pass the church when I'm out for my walk so I like to go in be say hello so you were on my list today. Yes we're going into battle but we are going to win the war!!!

Oh absolutely actually I have champagne and prosecco which I'm keeping for the special time when we are all CF

Well I'll keep a bottle and a box too!!!!

Ha ha!! What with your chemo and me drugged out of it, it's gonna be classic!!!!!

Imagine!!!!

Yes it will be hilarious as I will have chemo brain but we will keep posting it'll keep us going. My husband bought me an iPad for my 50th and I love it. I can email my friends in work and have Facebook and Internet it's marvellous and you can throw it in your bag.

Keep the bottles and box on ice 2013 is our year

I'm gonna bring my laptop and a boxset or 2 in with me to keep the boredom away- so hopefully I can tap into a wifi somewhere!!!!

2013- here we come!!

Xx

Are you in Vincent's? I get wifi in Vincent's private. Enjoy the rest

No unfortunately teachers vhi!!! But I get a private room in the public hospital- I hope!!!!!

Been looking at pics of women with tissue expanders on the net- ok, it's never going to be my chest, but in the interim it doesn't look like a bad compromise.....

We have ESB medical insurance where my husband works, I get a semi private ward in the private hospital and my chemo in private hospital, think its equivalent to plan B in vhi.

You see things are not as bad as you think. As I say it's the person within not the packaging on the outside.

Fingers crossed anyway!!

Xx

Neadi

Do you know what ward you will be on yet?
I was put in St Helen's in Vincent's Public Hospital. It was a new ward and lovely. Had a room to myself with touch screen TV than had internet etc.

Bring a couple of big safety pins with you, plenty of baby wipes and sports top water bottles. Place everything you need like phone charger, phone etc really near to you as you will not be able to move your arm post auxilary clearance (which I think you are having???? - node removal).

Safety pins are for pinning drains (2) to PJ's so you can get up and move around. Otherwise it is a pain and you can end up wrenching them when you forget they are there. PJ's essential as you will be poked and proded by the team/surgeon etc on a regular basis. Plenty of baby wipes - you won't be able to shower straight away - not even for a couple of days depending on wound dressing.

Last bit of advice bring a few bras with you (mastectomy or normal) no underwires. You will be getting a softie prosthesis probably the day after the operation and it tends to have a mind of its own springing around the place so the pocketed mastectomy bras worked a treat.

You will get physio the day after the op so do the exercises as much as you can to help stop the arm stiffening up. It can be quite uncomfortable when they have taken out the nodes and the exercises help.

All the very best next week with the surgery. I may be off air as I am heading back down the chemo path myself for more poisoning next week but will be thinking of you. I never thought I would come to terms with all this but .... I have. Mastectomy still fresh in my mind (8 weeks on Monday) so if you have any questions fire away or pm me.

D

Sorry Neadi button front opening all the way down the front PJs not the sort you pull over your head as you may not be able to get your arm up over your head for some time.

Hi D

Thank you so much for taking the time out to write such a lengthy and informative reply. Yes unfortunately I will be having the nodes out after last weeks awful result- but am over that now, am scared witless, but am willing to face this battle head on!! An copying and pasting your reply onto my phone notebook so can go and get the few bits over the weekend. I'd say the safety pins are a lifesaver?

How long did it take you to be able to move around, go for a walk, basically feel semi normal?? I know the next leg of the journey is chemo, but I want to try to get back and try to maintain normal health before that all kicks off.....

The very best if luck with the chemo! My thoughts and best wishes are with you.

Yes, st Helen's ward here I come...... God I wish this wasn't happening....

Xx

I'm so glad for you neadi that you have Dane7 to give you tips and help you through it. I'm here for any questions on chemo I'm in for my fourth on Monday two thirds over. Xxx

Hi Mary!! Hope you had a good day??

Dane7 was lovely to give me such good advice!!
I'm sure I'm going to have TONS of questions regarding chemo- for me that's the bit that scares me the most.....that and what they'll find when they "go in" next Thursday....my mind us imagining all sorts after the node test. They were almost certain they were clear after MRI, who's to say the MRI didn't pick up on anything more sinister, although the breast nurse tried to reassure me, I just do t know what to think anymore..just a little bit freaked out today, although I should be happy we're finally getting the ball rolling....

I had a lovely day met my cousin for lunch in Glendalough and we walked for 45 minutes before to work up an appetite. It was a lovely day and I feel really well today. Going to get my bloods done tomorrow and will look around the shops with my friend.

Have faith in the doctors if they say MRI is most likely clear then it probably is, no point in you stressing over the unknown, cross the bridges when you come to them. Concentrate on Saturday that is your day put your energy into yourself. The chemo is doable it's to be endured. I feel great this week nearly have forgotten how awful I felt two weeks ago so it's not all bad.

You'll get great pointers from the book when you get it, just been reading bits of it again and it's excellent, very positive

Thanks a million Mary, it's hard when your mind starts imagining all sorts. I had coffee with a friend after school today and although I was laughing and joking in the staff room, I got so upset with her, wondering if life would ever be normal again??? What I would give just to have a laugh over a coffee, plan a few glasses of wine, without the cancer cloud hanging over me all the time. I got home got on the runners and off I went- felt a bit better....everyone thinks I'm a loon for working right up to Wednesday, but I would go nuts at home...

Best of luck with the blood tests....glad you had a good day, and enjoy the shops!!!!

Xx

The mind does that and I have frightening moments too when I really think about it. I'm upbeat most of the time but I cried like the rain Saturday night as I just wanted to be normal, with my hair back and no cancer hanging over me but that's allowed a good cry now and again is essential I think.

I worked right up to when I got my chemo, I left on a Thursday and started chemo on the Monday which was the 10th sept and I'd been diagnosed since 17th August. I would have been a mental case sitting at home with nothing else to do and the support I got from my colleagues was incredible.

I'm hoping bloods will be ok as I feel ok but you never know.

They will!! You're feeling good, and that's a pretty good indicator!!

Xx

It could upset my social life if the weeks were changed

So it is possible to have a social life in all this then!????

Absolutely!!Plan days out or nights out for your good weeks during chemo.Doesnt have to be a major outting but something to look forward to on the not so good week.Be it a date with your hubby or girly coffee morning.And of course you have your running.
I will be thinking of you next thurs i will be in vincents that day for treatment myself.
Enjoy saturday i hope you have a lovely day.

xx

Oh absolutely I've told you that. I've only been really badly out of sorts for three or four days the other days either side of those really bad days you'd be ok maybe not doing cartwheels but ok and then for the remainder of the time before you go in for chemo again you are basically back to normal, its why I pack in everything in that week, so if my chemo is put back I'll have to reorganise the diary

Thanks!!

Golly it's going to be an emotional day, but hey meeting a friend to find a new outfit for the occasion........

Golly better get a diary for 2013....lots of social things to organize.
Am so keeping up the physical activity!!

Best of luck to you on Thursday too

Xx

You'll only be too delighted to have something planned for the 'good days' as you'll be fed up with feeling under the weather and will so appreciate feeling good. Get the diary make the most of being able to do as you wish with your day and not have to worry about work. I'm taking advantage of that

That's going to be so strange. Since I left college in '98 I've either been working 5/6 days a week teaching or gigging or studying......I'm not really looking forward to being idle..... But I suppose that where the diary comes in. I suppose you could call me a complete workaholic!!!:)

Same here although I broke my leg four years ago and I was off work for 6 months it was different as I was immobile. Don't use the word idle you're not allowed!!! You are in recovery and you need to pamper yourself, go for coffee , go for lunch, get a few days away on a hotel whatever you fancy but you won't be idle even when you are sitting doing nothing you can meditate You are going to be a different person now and a workaholic you will not be anymore that's for fools who don't put themselves first xxxx

You're dead right- am in the middle of a book called anti- cancer. It's mad how our mental as well as physical state contribute to these things.
Last year was so so stressful for me, and I'd actually lightened the workload..........ironic eh????

Absolutely you will start to look at life a lot differently and stress is a no no, people like us can't afford to be stressed as it doesn't help our condition. We all rush around and think we can't be done about but when something like this happens everything has to take backstage and the world doesn't stop. You're the most important person now above everything

Best of luck with the blood test today mary! Thinking and rooting for you!!

Xx

Thanks here we go another cycle of poison!!!