I am so afraid

Thats gas Evelyn, glad you enjoyed the break. I found the wig a great ice-breaker too. Some of my friends were cracking up with nerves at the thought of meeting me with it on and I just wore my little hat and whipped the wig out of my bag to introduce them to it first. My little furry friend, they are fit to have me certified! Actually its completely possible that I am going slightly mad, well maybe not mad but certainly more assertive and quirky. I just don't hold back anymore.....

I've had a bit of a tummy bug last few days and of course had myself convinced that I had various types of cancer. God the mind does play woeful tricks on you eh? Anyway I'm much better now and looking forward to my weekend away in Westport with my family.

So enjoy Easter and try to put Wednesday to the back of your mind.
Take care,
Celine

Hi everyone
Celine you must have passed on your tummy bug over the airways. I had a 24 hour bug that lasted 3 days, still not 100% but getting there.

Happy Easter to all

Chat soon Evelyn

Hi everyone

Well tomorrow is another big day for me . . . . .results of the scans and bloods post chemo. I am just hopeing I wont need the radio therapy. I do know I am going to be put on hormone therapy as my "little allien" was big because it was feeding off my hormones pity it did not feed off some of the fat on my tummy

Will ckeck in with you all tomorrow night.

Evelyn x x x

Good luck tomorrow Evelyn, Ill be thinking of you.
Is that what they normally do after chemo...another bone scan and bloods?
Ive been told that im definately going to have to have radiotherapy...regardless of whatever else they do.

Mine is hormone receptive aswell, so Im presuming ill be doing the hormone therapy aswell (thats going to be horrible from what ive read)

I did start to ask the doc but told him I didnt want to know yet, i was jumping too far ahead of myself...lol
My mam had ovarian cancer when she was 32, so I know im at risk of that aswell. Im just trying not to worry about it at the moment

Good luck Evelyn!!!!

Hi Hugs and thanks for good wishes.
Well it's 1.30 in the morning and even with a sleeping tablet I am wide awake. In the words of the song Lying Eyes . . . . ."another night it's gonna be a long one, she pulls the shades and hangs her head to cry". There is a huge cobweb in the corner of my bedroom (only seeing it now) but it will have to stay there as I dont want making noise and wakening my 2. Am I going mad talking about songs and cobwebs Have decided the cobweb has to go now. Wish I was sitting opposite my oncologist at this moment.

Evelyn the mad one

This time tomorrow, the wait will be over
Im not sleeping too good these days
My sister had some very wise words for me today.... 'Worry wont make it go away......worry wont change the results......worry wont make the time go faster'.....

She is dead right....but here I am at 2.30 am....I think I should go to bed

Thinking of you today Evelyn, take care xx
B.

HiI Evelyn,

Good luck today. Hope you get some good news.

Best Wishes
A

Hope its good news xx

Hi everyone
As you can see from the above I am a happy bunny tonight. My post surgery/chemo scans & bloods are all normal. No need for radio therapy, yipee. The oncologist has put me on a tablet called Tamoxifen its a hormonal treatment. My tumour was oestrogen receptor positive and this tablet will reduce my levels of oestrogen, I will be on it for 5 years. I think I have to see him in 3 mths or maybe its 6 mths, I was so happy I forget bits of our conversation
Tired tonight due to no sleep last night chat soon. Thanks for all the good wishes nice to know ye are still walking the journey with me.

Evelyn x x

Thats fantastic news Evelyn!!!! I kept checking in to see if you had posted.
There must be a load off your mind....and a whole 3 months before youre back to the doctor...woo hoo

Youll have to keep us posted on the tamoxifen, as im pretty sure its what ill be on once im finished my treatment (hormone receptive aswell)

Dont forget about the meeting in arc house on Monday

Great news Evelyn!!!!!! Hope you catch up on the sleep tonight.

A

Evelyn,
Thats wonderful, so happy for you. I have to go on Tamoxifen too, sure it'll be a doddle after chemo (well thats my take on it anyway ha ha). Now go have a nice treat to celebrate your great news. I had a facial over the weekend and it was lovely, dont know if thats your thing, isnt particularly mine to be honest but it was so nice.
Take care,
Celine

Hi Evelyn I'm soooo happy for you!! It's great to hear good news!Well done.
I started on Tamoxifen about 6 weeks ago and so far so good...I get pretty bad hot flushes in the evening mostly but they don't last long, that's probably the main side effect...so far.My breast care nurse said they can be fairly intense for about the first 3 months but then they ease off a bit.To be honest though I think anything's a breeze after the chemo!!
I did my last session of radiotherapy today..HOOORRRaaaaaYYY!!! Back in August this day seemed light years away, but the end of treatment does finally come!!Celebrating this eve with my hubby and my sister..can't wait!!
B.

Hi everyone

I cannot begin to thank you all for your support. Ye are, no we are a great group of strong women and it shows in all the messages.

I now begin getting my expander filled so more trips in store for me. After the chemo I wont mind travelling for these appointments. The ongologist did warn me about the hot flushes with the Tamoxifen but I have been getting them since I started the chemo so nearly used to them. If I plugged my face into the fuse box I could light up the entire house

The tiredness has hit me today, think it's the relief that the last 11 mths is over. i remember thinking I would never get through it. It's funny how the brain works it all seems a blur to me now or maybe its the "chemo brain"

Keep strong everyone Evelyn x x

Hi Evelyn,
You sound great! Its lovely to see you being so positive. Yeah I'm not looking forward to the hot flushes with Tamoxifen, I had so got used to them fecking off with themselves since I finished the chemo, not happy about them making a re-appearance. At least I have the hat/wig off now (in my Sinead O'Connor phase) so I wont have to de-hat myself to cool down. God at least 3 months of hot flushes! ok start the rollercoaster again..... But my mantra at the moment is, nothing is as bad as chemo. You know I think you deserve to be a little tired, sure its better than being wound up about results. Your body is going into relax mode and that cant be a bad thing.
Take good care of yourself,
Celine

Hi everyone
I wish everyone could feel as happy as I am for the last few days . However with some of ye waiting for results and or surgery/treatment everyone cannot be happy. I used worry about every little thing in my life and took on other peoples problems. . . well no more. Life is precious and is to be enjoyed every single minute.
My occupation is working in a primary school with children with special needs. They could teach us a thing or two. They get enjoyment from the simple things in life, are never afraid to show their emotions and are eager to try new things. I always say I learn more from them than I could ever teach them. Yes they are special people but not for the reasons you might think, they have life sussed and they enjoy every day.
Ok lecture over for the day
Evelyn x x

Congrads Evelyn and hello to all on this thread...... I have been missing for a while - gosh, where does the time go to. maybe we should open a tamoxofin page - I am on it 12months now and .... sorry to say this... but I am still hot flushing gala !! Someone at work described it as a ''troical moment'' today - sounds good !!! I just have a big electric fan near my desk and I put my face in front of it whenever I ''get the feeling'' - I guess its a small price to pay for re-assurance as i was sensitive to both progesterone and oestrogen - as a matter of interest, was anyone else here sensitive to both hormones...... I havent heard of anyone else with both on ''the books'' !!
Anyways enjoy the fine weather - yep, I would agree with ''being more assertive'' and ''outgoing'' - hey folks - my funny ending for today is a story about always wanting to buy buy buy when on the steorids - when I had no hair i was in a shop one day reasoning with myself - I really really really needed a new hairdryer................... like an eskimo needing ice !!!!
r

Hi roxanne. Nice to meet you. Im fairly new here, and my story is on the 'early days' thread. Im heading in for a mastectomy on the 4th of may.

I agree it would be a great idea to start a thread on tamoxofin. Im both progesterone and oestrogen positive, so im presuming its going to be hormonal treatment for me after the chemo. So it would be great to get the heads up on whats ahead of me

I cant get reconstruction at the same time, but will be afterwards. Im hoping to get the diep done. Good luck with your own treatments!

Hi everyone
Hope everyone enjoying this fine weather. I decided to varnish the garden furniture and have ended up with tennis elbow could only happen to me.
Roxanne like hugs I too showed up positive to both hormones. In fact my oestrogen level was very high which surprised me due to my age, I am 49.
Heading up on Monday to have the first lot of saline put into the expander.
Evelyn x x

Hi Evelyn,

Good luck for your 'fill' tomorrow. Hope it goes ok.

Hugs,

Flo.

Hi everyone
I am going down a different direction now with the reconstruction. Saw my consultant and we talked over my fear of implants. He is referring me to a plastic surgeon to discuss the different options (nurse gave me a book on reconstruction) however he thinks it will involve taking fat/muscle from my tummy. Will know more when I see plastic surgeon.

He is also arranging my yearly mamogram . . . . where did the last year go ?????

Still lighting up the room with my hot flushes
Evelyn x

Hi everyone
Sorry i have not been on in a while. My sisters husband diagnosed with bowel cancer so things up in a heap again in my family. They operate on him Wednesday.
Hard to believe my 1st annual mamogram was 2 weeks ago, where did the last year go ?. Waiting for the results and feeling a bit paranoid but I guess thats normal. No appointment yet with the plastic surgeon think they are waiting for my results.
Regards to all Evelyn x x

Its great to see you back online. Hopefully the results will come back clear. I know what you mean about feeling paranoid. I keep looking at my one and only breast thinking its a time bomb waiting to go off I just dont like it anymore

Im sorry to hear about your BIL, what a nightmare. I hope he is ok.
Cancer seems to be everywhere, I dont know if its just that i notice it more, but im hearing a lot more about it.

Hi Evelyn (and Hugs!)

Just a quick note to say that the paranoid feelings post diagnosis (and especially for a while after treatment ends) are completely normal. Its takes a while to stop thinking every ache or pain is the BC returning and being in your brain/bowel/lungs/liver/bones/kidneys/etc. I have had it in just about ALL of these places over the past four years!!! But we still need to be vigilant and get any regular or continual pain checked out. It just takes a while to get the balance between paranoia and prudence right.

My GP said to me one day (after several scares!) that 'ordinary boring medical stuff still happens after you have had cancer'. Strangely, that hadn't quite dawned on me till that point. Now thankfully, I am more likely to think headaches are blocked sinuses (or a hangover!) rather than brain mets.

Hang in there.
Hugs,

Flo.

Hi Evelyn,
sorry to hear about your BIL - times can be hard - no doubt you will keep him positive.
Gosh, your year has flown by. Don't worry about the mammogram - if there was anything wrong they would have been back in double quick time....... i'd imagine you will have to ring them for the results. As for the plastic surgeon - I had asked for my recon. appointment in Jan and when I hadn't heard anything in April I rang the surgeon's secretary myself - the letter was still on the file - never posted !!!
I am going for recon at the end of the month so will keep ye posted - the rib thingy from the back...... puttiing the nitty gritties out of my head - just focusing on having two boobs again !!!
Imagine telling your male boss you are going for a new boob !!! I had to do that two weeks ago - he nearly went under the desk !!!! I tell all my friends I am going for the ''jordan job'' !!!!! Me being a little B cup !!!!! Criky, I will be so proud I will be wearing the lowest tops in town lol !!!!!!
So thats my story for a while - will keep you posted on recon - if you don't hear soon give a call to the hosp. - you are probably filed under ''perfect'' !!

luv
r

Hi everyone
My brother in law had his surgery today and thank God all went well. The keyhole surgery worked and he has no colostomy bag (which was worring him). a huge sigh of relief needless to tell you all.
I will ring hosp tomorrow re the plastis surgeon. I dont even know his name just that he is attached to the mater hospital. I rang the breast care nurse about results of mamogram but she rang back to say they did not have the report yet.
Girls the hot flushes are doing away with me these days Anyone else having the same problem ??? Also I am in tears lately for no reason
Evelyn

Thats great news about your brother in law! Its always good to hear when something comes back with good news attached.

Any sign of your results? Did you ring the plastic surgeon yet?
It must be a great feeling, youre nearly there
I dont have hot flushes yet (but Im sure I will soon).
Are you on tamaxofin? Im dreading starting that but Ill worry about it when the time comes.

I hope youre keeping well xx

Hi everyone
Still waiting on results of mamogram I suppose no news is good news
I got my appointment with plastic surgeon it's the end of October, seems a long way off but I suppose it's just a few months. The protesis did not annoy me too much until the good weather came and I wanted to wear low (ish) strappy tops. They dont look right with the big bra straps, gosh I am so vain, but it's how I feel.
The hot flushes are still as bad as ever but I think they are down to the [i:lxmk2hj6]Tamoxofin[/i:lxmk2hj6]. I would rather stay on it and put up with the flushes as the benefits outweigh the negitive.
Hugs are for being "nearly there" I sometimes wonder if the fear of the cancer coming back somewhere else will ever leave me Dont get me wrong it's not on my mind 24/7 but never a day passes that I dont cry a little (maybe that's the medication).
Evelyn x x

Hi everyone
Great news for a change . . . got the results of my annual ( gosh where did that year go ? ) mamogram and it's all clear thank God. Gosh why was I so paranoid waiting for the results
I now have to learn to live as a cancer survivor and dont know the rules. When will I waken up without cancer on my mind ???
Evelyn x x

Thats brilliant news Evelyn, I am so delighted for you,
Thanks for all the encouragement
Deema

Hi Evelyn. Thank god for that. Its such a worry, I hope some day we can wake up and feel normal...cancer free...or as you said not even thinking about cancer.
I think sometimes I feel as if it is happening to someone else, and Im just going with th eflow. Im afraid Im going to get a horrible awakening someday and say 'where the hell is my boob...and my life gone'

When are you back in the hospital? Is it just yearly checks now, or more regularly?
Im not back with mr stokes until November, I was a bit suprised at this, but I suppose its all down to the oncology departmant now.

Gongrats on your good news...time to celebrate

Hi friends
Yes Hugs it will be the oncology dept now looking after you for a while. My appointment with Mr Stokes (when he arranged the annual mamogram and made appointment with plastic surgeon) was a year since I first saw him. I had seen members of his team following the surgery to get drained and because i got an infection. My next appointment with him was arranged for next year. That should be good news no more clinic's for 12 months but all I can think of is "who is going to keep an eye on me ?" and "what if a lump appears and I miss it". All crazy I know but that is the paranoia I have to try and get rid of . Blood results back tomorrow and I feel well (other than the tiredness) so hopefully they will all be normal . . . .in saying that how can they be normal when I am not
Keep well all of ye evelyn x x

Hi Evelyn,

Congrats on your mammogram result! I can relate to all your worries. I finished my radiotherapy Oct last year and thought by now I would be "happy" but it is difficult to forget concerns about recurrence. I don't have mammograms due to bilateral mastectomies although I get asked every oncology check up have I had one done I thought it would be easier not to have the worry about scans but instead I worry recurrence won't be detected by examination alone Saying that unfortunately I am awaiting an MRI to review back pain although oncology think is "only" arthritis or osteoporosis!

The only way to cope is to keep busy doing enjoyable things to keep negative thoughts at bay. Lots of treating ourselves. I may also look at starting Tai Chi or some other calming activity!

Hi Hugs,

Hope you are doing ok. You are still making us all smile with your humour and great take on life and cancer.

Hi All Regulars & Newbies!

Great to see lots of new names online. Wishing you well with treatments e.t.c

All the best
A x

Hi Girls
It's been a while since I have been on the site sorry
Still running with my hot flushes nurse recommended I give up coffee I did no change. Then she suggested primrose oil and star flower oil tablets no change. Now she suggested accapuncture so I will try that.
My portcath (from the chemo) is still in and I only found out Friday it should be flushed every 4/6 weeks it's a few months now since my chemo finished and it has never been flushed. Heading to hospital tomorrow to get it done. I asked when it would be removed they said the plastic surgeon would prob take it out ( my appointment with him is October). So Dublin here I come again
Evelyn x