Day 11
Hi guys!
It's day 11 and I have my bone scan tomorrow. Things are still fairly crappy. I just want to sit inside and eat chocolate. Sometimes I do, sometimes I put on the runners and go for a walk. One of the girls from school gave me "the choice" and I found that really good - resolving to give up the chocolate again tomorrow!!! 
Are there any good books I can get to get my head around this. I nearly flipped last night at my husband when he said to me "in a few weeks your life is going to be awful anyway". I'm going mad waiting for test results, and boom! The dim realization of the whole physical side just hit me. What the hell is going to happen...... I really want to blitz this thing that has invaded my personal space, but it sometimes in my lower moments just seems so terrifying and scary and overwhelming......all the women here are so so strong- I feel like such a moan bag. All I want to do is get better and be able to smile again...
Comments
Hi Neadi
I can't imagine the turmoil you are going through, it's a tough thing to find out that you have been diagnosed with cancer.
I don't know if you are in a position to do so, but I can only recommend calling to a cancer support centre where there well may be someone you can talk to that might be able to help you make sense of what is going on. Sometimes talking it out with someone who knows all about it can be of help.
The only thing that I can is that waiting for results is the pits; you might find that once you have a definite diagnosis and you know what the plan is, then you can start to make plans around the treatment.
Wishing you the very, very best. Take care.
The worst time was the waiting but once they give you something to deal with you will deal with it. Give your husband a slap from me for saying that to you. No your life won't be crap, you'll be a better person and you will be overwhelmed with the goodness and kindness of mankind it's just wonderful. The doctors can do great things, you just need to take one day at a time. I was diagnosed with early stage breadt cancer on 17th August this year and I was told only positive news that they were going to get rid of it and this has kept me positive. I am halfway through my six sessions of chemo, my last one being on Christmas Eve . I am looking forward to being cancer free next year and I will cherish my life and enjoy every minute of it. This is just a blip I need to get over. Be positive and it will get you through with the help if family and friends. chin up xxx
Have sent you a pm.
Dane