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Hi Bevan. Yes I think you are right that it is an Irish thing that we find it harder to deal with the emotional aspect of a cancer diagnosis. I also found that I was putting all my energies into staying as well as possible and being positive and trying to look on the bright side of things. You also don't want your family worrying about you so you let on that you are 100% fine all the time, which is really not possible.
I am 2 years post treatment and in some ways am still struggling to get back to normal. I can relate to your chemo brain big time, I have become very scatty and find I often have to re-ask a question as I have not taken in the answer. Sometimes I feel like I am getting dementia, but, as I am only 43 I am pretty sure it is chemo brain! My oncologist scoffed at the idea when I mentioned it to him, so I'm just getting on with it.
I also find my energy levels are still below par.It takes me days to recover from a night out (and I like nights out). The other aspect is the worry about getting a recurrence. I hadnt really worried about it too much,but recently had 2 people who are close to me diagnosed with secondaries. This was really upsetting and I also found myself worrying about my own chances.
Having said all this, I am genuinely pretty upbeat and positive 95% of the time. I just want to get on with my life and put this experience behind me. F

Hi Bevan and fjs`

I think others countries are a bit more open about "feelings" etc. We all tend to put our heads down and try and get on with it. I was diagnosed end of Feb this year. Excuse me if my post is a bit wonky but I finished radiotherapy last Friday. Feel a bit weak and washed out. I had chemo all summer and will be getting a mascetomy at the end of the month fingers crossed. I am getting nervous about ending treatment, must seem silly but its like a comfort blanket for me at the moment that at least they are trying to help me. I went through all the bits initially, crying, fear and I was really angry that I got it. I had the determination I was going to give it my all to try and get "rid"!! I am very odd at the moment about seeing anything about celebs dying or having cancer. I just do not want to know. I turn the telly straight over. It scares me. I am 39 by the way with two kids. My DH has been brilliant but his own mother died of bc in 1980 when he was 13 so this really is a kick in the behind that I now have it. (Hers is diff story , she ignored the lump for years till it was beyond treatment) Different times then did not run to the doctors as fast. Nice to talk to ye.

Hi Guys yes it is strange that we irish tend to keep our feelings to ourselves and not talk about our feelings, Its like we are brought up that way, poeple often ask "how are you?" but we never tell the truth. I suppose were afraid of upsetting them. Mind you if at times I were to tell the truth people would perhaps never speak to me again. Thats why a site like this is a good thing we can harp on and complain and cry and people dont know who we are. And there are people who know what we are going through and therefore can sympathise with us better.
Hi fiddav you have it all ahead of you and your right you are in the comfort zone when your having treatment its when all the business stops that you can feel very low thinking things you shouldn't cause you feel alone. No docs doing things or nurses checking on you all of a sudden its like the security has disappeared. Strange as this may sound but its true. All of a sudden your on your own and you have time to think about what just happpened and wham it hits you.
Anyway I'm in good form these days and like fjs I am upbeat 95% of the time getting on with living.
Good luck with the mas. at the end of the month and were here if you want to have a moan or cry at us. Let us know how you get on.

Hi Fiddav & Bevan.
Hope you are having a good week.
Fiddav, I understand exactly what you mean about the security blanket of being in the midst of treatment. It can be a bit of an anti-climax after the treatment finishes. Especially as well meaning friends and family keep on congratulating you on having finished your treatment and how great it is to see you looking better/cured etc.. I did not feel better for a long time and I think I missed having that acknowledged as soon as the treatments finished.
Have you hooked up at all with any of the cancer support centres? You may not be free if you have young children, but, some of them have morning classes and courses. I went to Lios Aobhainn near Vincents hospital. I did a stress management class there, it was about 8 classes with a group of fellow cancer journey people. I found it really helpful to chat with people who had similar experiences to me, I also found the hints about how to handle stress invaluable. I did this after my treatment and it really helped. They do other classes. Worth a call. There is also ARC, which is near the Mater. Don't know if you are in Dublin, but, if you are you should check out one of the above.
Very best of luck with your surgery at the end of the month.
Talk soon.