meeting for young women

Hi Hugs,

Thanks for letting us know about this meeting - I'll definitely be there. All I need to do is find out were Eccles Street is and then figure out how to use the satnav in the car.

Karen

Great stuff Kar.
Its 65 eccles street, a blue door with arc house written over it.
See you there tomorrow at 10.30 so!

http://www.arccancersupport.ie/index2.html

do you know if there is another one coming up?
I'm 31 and was diagnosed 2 weeks ago and would be really interested in attending.

Hi Stef,

Welcome to the site.

The next meeting in ARC House was actually scheduled for tomorrow 9th but due to poor attendance at the last meeting it has been pushed back to 27th September. I think the attendance had a lot to do with school holidays etc so hopefully the next one will be better.

I'm 36 and was diagnosed in June. I've had surgery and started chemo last Thursday and while I'm not an expert on any of this please feel free to PM me if you would like to chat or if you have any questions.

Karen

Hi Stef, Im sorry you have to be here, but there is good support on the board!

The meetings really are a great idea. You should try to go into or ring Arc House. They are very helpful and supportive.

I think the idea behind the next meetings are a 5 week group thing as opposed to monthly meetings, which might be better. I dont know, my head is fried at the moment...lol

Im heading for my 4th chemo next week, almost halfway there!

Kar how are you doing? You must be glad to be moving onto the next stage! Hope youre hanging in there, and ill see you on the 27th

Girls,

Don't feel you have to wait for ARC to set up another meeting.

Why not get exchange numbers and get together yourselves for tea, coffee, support and laughter? It will also be less intimidating going to the next meeting if you already know people who will be there.

I would join you but I'm in Drogheda and am now almost 42 so don't thnk I qualify as 'young' anymore!!!

Hugs,
Flo.

Flo thats a great idea.

Im 39 and i consider myself to be young...and i intend to stay that way

Hi All
I am new here but just so you know there is a meeting for young women with BC scheduled for Tuesday 21st September at 11am in the Gary Kelly cancer support centre in Drogheda - I live in east meath so will be attending - I am a young 39 so hopefully qualify
There is a look good feel good meeting today there at 2pm - 4pm. I had my first chemo session 2 weeks ago and I am trying to learn all the tricks to stay looking half decent throughout
Jeanette

Hi all,

I really like the sound of those meetings for young women.
I had bc last year and im only 26.
Ill definitely consider attending!

Ellie

hi guys,
thanks for the meeting update and the support!

was back in the hospital yesterday and they tell me its spread to my liver so they are going to start me on chemo first then look at mastectomy...originally they were gonna do that first but this update changes everything....
ive found your comments and threads really helpful...reading about real people going through it has made it easier to deal with it all...
going back to hosp tomorrow to meet chemo doc and get schedule for chemo next week etc...

Oh Stef,

That is just crap news! Have they said what chemo they are starting you on?

Do they know how much of your liver is affected? Its a big organ and I believe sometimes a section can be removed, without affecting liver function, to stop further spread.

I know its very early days yet and you need to find out more. I suppose they will see how you respond to chemo first before looking at any surgery. But please keep us posted!

Hugs,
Flo.

Hi folks,
first time on this forum so bear with me. My wify was disgnosed with breast cancer two years ago at the age of 32. She had to have a masectomey and chemo and came through this sucessfully. she has since had reconstructive surgery and all is going good. At the time she was diagnosed she was breast feeding our second baby and we had plans for more. She always puts on a brave face and looks positive to everyone on the outside, however she never went to any support groups or got any councelling and some times she gets very upset and bitter. I am just glad that she is still alive but she does not look at it in that way. She feels that she has been robbed of the chance to have more kids and thinks that its so unfair. I think that she really need to talk to someone professional about this. Where should we go to get some help in the cork area?

Thanks
DCM

Hi DCM

Sorry to hear about your wife but am delighted she has made a full recovery (physically).

I was diagnosed @39 when my 2nd was 5 months old. I b'fed her for nearly 3 months - she was a prem baby so had to express and then bottle feed her as she had a poor sucking reflux. She is 2 now and flying.

Although I hated being diagnosed with BC, I actually felt lucky as I had two chidren before diagnosis - I met virtually and IRL (in real life) a number of women who were diagnosed when single, dating or before they had the chance to have children.

I am sure the Irish Cancer Society has a support group in Cork. I know ARC House in Dublin provides some great councelling though I have never availed of it myself.

If your wife is interested in a trip to Dublin, there is an event on 18th Sept that Action Breast Cancer is organising -I attended last year and it was amazing to meet so many other women going through (or who had gone through) a similar path. They have different talks and sessions including ones with Councellors.

Best of luck to you both.

LindyLu

Edited to add - at the top of the main BC page there is a notice about the conference from the Webmaster!

Hi DCM, Its great to hear your wife is doing well, and is out of the other side. A lot of people say that it is after the treatment finishes that it hits you hard.

Have you been told that she definately cant have more children? I have heard of women who have had babies after B/C.

I found a link to ARC house in cork, they would probably be a great place to start. I know that ARC house in dublin are very good.

http://www.corkcancersupport.ie/

Take care of yourself and your DW.

Thanks folks for the advice. I think I will start with ARC service centre and see where we go from there. Has anybody been there and how did they get on.

DCM

Hi DCM,

My compliments for having the consideration (and the balls!) to come online and look for support for your wife and yourself. I'd say ARC in Cork is a good place to start. I think counselling for you both, together and separately, might be useful to help each understand how the other feels and thinks.

What I would also add to what others have said is that, although it is two years since diagnosis, its probably not so long (about a year?) since all the treatment ended. And then she had to have the reconstruction surgery and recover from that. Its usually only when the whirlwind of all the appointments and treatment, etc are finished that we actually have the time and space to start processing what actually happened.

It can be very difficult to just move on. Cancer took up a huge amount of my thoughts and conversations for a good while before I was able to relax and just live again. Once you've had cancer, its always there hovering somewhere nearby. And it takes time to learn how to live with that risk on your shoulder without obsessing about it constantly.

As regards having more children, many women do so after treatment. But sometimes the ovaries do not recover from chemo, or you have to wait until hormone therapy is complete (by which time its too late to have another child) or you may have to get your ovaries removed to stop oestrogen. I cried when i was first told I had cancer but I cried much, much more when told I might not be able to have another child.

Your wife is right - she has been robbed of the chance to have more kids and it IS unfair. Very unfair! But, after time, and the benefit of counselling, she will hopefully find that having a life threatening illness (sounds dramatic but sadly is true) has given her a greater appreciation of life (as it has done for me) and makes her cherish and enjoy the two wonderful children and husband that she has.

Thanks for posting. Hang in there, it gets better!

Flo.

Thanks Flo.

I have spoken to my wife about going to see someone and she is slowly coming around to the idea. It will take a few week of gentle reminding I think for her to get the courage to actually go to someone. I was obviously going to to go to support her if she wanted me there but I hand't thought about going myself.

You talk about having a greater appreciation of Life and thats what I have always talked about but at the moment she is not in that place and that why I think we need help.

We havn't confirmed that she cant have kids but as you say she now has to take the drugs for another couple of year and until then she has to live with the uncertainty. She has even talked about finishing up the treatment early and I'm dont really know what to say to that.

Thanks for the help.
DCM